choose your attitude
For years, I have been blogging about international politics and current events. In recent months my focus has become localized, particularly onto individuals whom I know personally. I realize that everyone has their issues, whether a terrorist world leader across the globe, an ex in another state, or myself, my students, my family, and my friends. My best friend who is a flight attendant came to visit me in San Diego on an overnight the other day, and we were able to catch up, as we usually do. We were long overdue for an update on each others' lives, although I had just seen her a month ago in Los Angeles. A lot has happened in a month. A lot continues to happen. And everything happens for a reason. When it happens, I never know quite what the reason is. After time elapses, the lesson is usually revealed to me eventually, or something finally gives.
Before I decided to move back to San Diego, I was here on vacation, on a break between Seattle and Phoenix, awaiting a job transfer to Phoenix. As the transfer fell through, so did a few key relationships with a few friends and a guy I was seeing in Arizona, who I was 100% dedicated to. At the time, I thought I could not bear to be without these people in my life, but as time progressed, I realized how I could not live WITH their negative attitudes in my life. Looking back upon that time-frame, I wonder now how I was even able to maintain such a narrow focus on these few select individuals, who meant the world to me. The world is a really big place, it was time to adjust my perspective, while maintaining a positive mindset.
While I was in San Diego on vacation, I decided to attend a few Yoga classes. Yoga is a personal discipline which helps ground me, both physically and mentally/emotionally, as it is a mind-body practice. One class I attended was taught by a fit gay black man, who played loud house music and made the class sweat, almost as though he was a drill-sergeant. The next class I attended, the instructor did not show up. All of the students sat around bewildered, until someone informed the manager that there was no instructor. He then asked if anyone wanted to teach the class (was he serious?). I volunteered, and the group was exceedingly grateful. The manager had a great sense of humor, and put others before himself - as he'd rather ask a random person to teach the class than to cancel it for the 20 people sitting around waiting. However at first impression, I didn't know what to think of this guy - desperate or dedicated?
Subbing that random class led to the job I have now, teaching Yoga and other fitness classes in America's Finest City. I have had several conversations with that manager since our first encounter, and when reflecting back upon it, he stated "everything happens for a reason". He is a great manager to work for, as are all of my other managers. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, although at the time, the circumstances around my relocation looked bleak and hopeless. In recent months, I have not only re-acclimated to my previous home of 14 years, home to my favorite sports teams, the beautiful coastlines of the Pacific Ocean, and home to many of my lifetime friends. I have likewise made many new friends, experienced many new situations and encountered new dramas, far more interesting and less ridiculous than the Arizona dramas. Of course, everywhere I go drama seems to follow me, but it is my positive attitude and my transcendent perspective that helps me rise above the challenges that might pull another person down.
That's not to say my life is not filled with challenges, it is - its just a matter of keeping a positive mindset. For example, I teach one Yoga class in a fairly affluent part of town. I guess their affluence somehow gives these members the liberty to act out of selfishness or haughtiness. For the past several weeks, one member has been complaining about the temperature in our classroom. I agree it is well below appropriate temperature for a Yoga class, or any human gathering. This person got me on her bandwagon for a while, she had already complained to the management and nothing changed, so I went up and spoke with the powers-that-be myself. I found out that the air conditioning was controlled by the building management, and the building houses several other businesses, who rely on air conditioning as an essential aspect of their company's operation. In other words, there was no way for me (or our management) to change the temperature.
I have confirmed this information to my students in recent weeks, but the woman continues to bicker about the cold classroom and influence others with her negative mindset. Today she busted in and announced "whoever is here first needs to close these doors, and the doors in the back, so it stays warmer in here", while I was setting up the class and connecting with students. She seemed to get everyone riled up, and before I knew it, the bickering took over. It was my job to cut it off and get them to simmer down. I first suggested everyone wear layers of clothing to class. I then started immediately into the practice, asking students to focus on (and be grateful for) their breath. Grateful for a beautiful environment to practice Yoga in. Grateful for all their working limbs. The bickering finally stopped, but only after these individuals realized I had begun the practice amidst their complaining. My eyes were closed, I was focused on my breath, and many of the conscientious students followed suit. After class, everyone appeared much more peaceful than when they came in. I had done my job. I later mentioned the continued bickering to the manager, who has a broken foot and wheels herself around on a scooter. Are we grateful for all our working limbs, that we can practice Yoga at all? The manager can't, yet she did try to help us with the temperature control initially. Are we grateful for our breath, that it sustains us minute-by-minute, day-after-day? We are not hooked up to an oxygen tank, as my Dad was while in the hospital, just before he passed away from a lung condition. Are we grateful for a beautiful space to practice Yoga, with nice hardwood floors, mirrored walls, amazing acoustics, and peaceful serene lighting?
I teach another class for Senior Citizens. One man complains almost daily, and his negativity is really starting to wear on me. I usually have some sort of positive anecdote for him. He says things like "I am an 86-year-old man, I can't do any of this" when in reality he does just fine. If its not one thing, its another with him. One day he'll complain about the music, another day about my microphone. Last week he complained about the music, the microphone, the room temperature, the level of difficulty of the exercises, and random people coming into the room to do sit-ups - all in one class! My patience was worn down to the last thread. He stresses himself out every time, and he usually stresses out some of the other students in the class. They have become used to him "oh that's just how he is" - but this attitude is self-defeating, negative, and definitely not necessary. After the class I informed the manager about this man (I had mentioned him before) and then worked out my frustrations on the elliptical machine. I am a peaceful person, but when people who have such a negative mindset push my buttons, I seriously need to pump some iron!
These students I have mentioned remind me of the aforementioned people in Arizona with whom I had my challenging relationships. The one man (a 42-year-old man who dates 20-something women) literally complains about everything. He is either complaining, or says negative things about a situation or person, to the point of applying prejudice or unhealthy bias. The girl he is currently with puts up with his negative antics (or at her young age does not know any better), although he finally wore me down, I had to remove his thorn from my side. This man was not merely an irritation, like a small pebble in a shoe, but rather a ton of rocks in my socks, my pockets, and carrying as weight upon my shoulders. Despite his own heaviness, he did not see the "log" in his own eye, he repeatedly made a point to point out the "speck" in mine. My ex and his other friends did the same thing, painted me as some sort of a villain. I realize that everyone has their issues, some even have their skeletons. Better to shake them out and rid them of cobwebs than to continue to wave them around, spreading dirt and brokenness to all the "living" creatures - or those who choose to live peacefully and happily.
My challenge to everyone: try to live your life without bringing other people down. Work things out, find solutions, make amends, just stop your bickering. Placing blame on others or constantly pointing out negative aspects of a situation or a person reflects a negative mindset, an unhealthy perspective, and a poor attitude. My ex had a huge ego - he could do nothing wrong, although his judgment was WAY OFF. He blamed me for EVERYTHING, especially his own faults and shortcomings. He even created scenarios in his own mind that were not even real, then disseminating this false pretense among his friends and family, as though I were some sort of an evil woman. When in reality I am somewhat of a peace-maker, grounded, educated, and spiritual. You can place blame on anyone or anything, but recognizing the fact that your reality is a reflection of your perception, and your attitude about what you perceive.
I have indeed endured lot of interesting situations and scenarios in the last few months, I have barely begun to scratch the surface of my current "dramas". But as you can see, regardless of where life takes me, I must deal with my fair share of challenges, and maintain a positive mindset. As my manager said, "everything happens for a reason". I am eternally grateful to him for giving me that chance to sub the first Yoga class that day, it has turned into a wonderful rewarding job (despite having to deal with challenging people). Remember we are not responsible for anyone else's Karma, but perhaps we can help them with their attitudes. Sometimes a move to a new city, or even a visit to a different city can help adjust our perspective. We don't have to wheel around on a scooter to appreciate all our working limbs.
Every time I visit with my best friend, we exchange stories, and we end up being thankful we are exactly where we are, and NOT in each others' shoes. She has 3 kids and home ownership/financial issues, I have no kids or parenting issues, but I daily endure all sorts of other scenarios, mainly interpersonal. A "drama" can be put into proper perspective when looking at another situation of greater difficulty. An attitude of gratitude can take us a lot farther in life than a lot of bickering, complaining, negativity, and finger-pointing. Choose your own attitude, but try to see situations from other perspectives.
Before I decided to move back to San Diego, I was here on vacation, on a break between Seattle and Phoenix, awaiting a job transfer to Phoenix. As the transfer fell through, so did a few key relationships with a few friends and a guy I was seeing in Arizona, who I was 100% dedicated to. At the time, I thought I could not bear to be without these people in my life, but as time progressed, I realized how I could not live WITH their negative attitudes in my life. Looking back upon that time-frame, I wonder now how I was even able to maintain such a narrow focus on these few select individuals, who meant the world to me. The world is a really big place, it was time to adjust my perspective, while maintaining a positive mindset.
While I was in San Diego on vacation, I decided to attend a few Yoga classes. Yoga is a personal discipline which helps ground me, both physically and mentally/emotionally, as it is a mind-body practice. One class I attended was taught by a fit gay black man, who played loud house music and made the class sweat, almost as though he was a drill-sergeant. The next class I attended, the instructor did not show up. All of the students sat around bewildered, until someone informed the manager that there was no instructor. He then asked if anyone wanted to teach the class (was he serious?). I volunteered, and the group was exceedingly grateful. The manager had a great sense of humor, and put others before himself - as he'd rather ask a random person to teach the class than to cancel it for the 20 people sitting around waiting. However at first impression, I didn't know what to think of this guy - desperate or dedicated?
Subbing that random class led to the job I have now, teaching Yoga and other fitness classes in America's Finest City. I have had several conversations with that manager since our first encounter, and when reflecting back upon it, he stated "everything happens for a reason". He is a great manager to work for, as are all of my other managers. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, although at the time, the circumstances around my relocation looked bleak and hopeless. In recent months, I have not only re-acclimated to my previous home of 14 years, home to my favorite sports teams, the beautiful coastlines of the Pacific Ocean, and home to many of my lifetime friends. I have likewise made many new friends, experienced many new situations and encountered new dramas, far more interesting and less ridiculous than the Arizona dramas. Of course, everywhere I go drama seems to follow me, but it is my positive attitude and my transcendent perspective that helps me rise above the challenges that might pull another person down.
That's not to say my life is not filled with challenges, it is - its just a matter of keeping a positive mindset. For example, I teach one Yoga class in a fairly affluent part of town. I guess their affluence somehow gives these members the liberty to act out of selfishness or haughtiness. For the past several weeks, one member has been complaining about the temperature in our classroom. I agree it is well below appropriate temperature for a Yoga class, or any human gathering. This person got me on her bandwagon for a while, she had already complained to the management and nothing changed, so I went up and spoke with the powers-that-be myself. I found out that the air conditioning was controlled by the building management, and the building houses several other businesses, who rely on air conditioning as an essential aspect of their company's operation. In other words, there was no way for me (or our management) to change the temperature.
I have confirmed this information to my students in recent weeks, but the woman continues to bicker about the cold classroom and influence others with her negative mindset. Today she busted in and announced "whoever is here first needs to close these doors, and the doors in the back, so it stays warmer in here", while I was setting up the class and connecting with students. She seemed to get everyone riled up, and before I knew it, the bickering took over. It was my job to cut it off and get them to simmer down. I first suggested everyone wear layers of clothing to class. I then started immediately into the practice, asking students to focus on (and be grateful for) their breath. Grateful for a beautiful environment to practice Yoga in. Grateful for all their working limbs. The bickering finally stopped, but only after these individuals realized I had begun the practice amidst their complaining. My eyes were closed, I was focused on my breath, and many of the conscientious students followed suit. After class, everyone appeared much more peaceful than when they came in. I had done my job. I later mentioned the continued bickering to the manager, who has a broken foot and wheels herself around on a scooter. Are we grateful for all our working limbs, that we can practice Yoga at all? The manager can't, yet she did try to help us with the temperature control initially. Are we grateful for our breath, that it sustains us minute-by-minute, day-after-day? We are not hooked up to an oxygen tank, as my Dad was while in the hospital, just before he passed away from a lung condition. Are we grateful for a beautiful space to practice Yoga, with nice hardwood floors, mirrored walls, amazing acoustics, and peaceful serene lighting?
I teach another class for Senior Citizens. One man complains almost daily, and his negativity is really starting to wear on me. I usually have some sort of positive anecdote for him. He says things like "I am an 86-year-old man, I can't do any of this" when in reality he does just fine. If its not one thing, its another with him. One day he'll complain about the music, another day about my microphone. Last week he complained about the music, the microphone, the room temperature, the level of difficulty of the exercises, and random people coming into the room to do sit-ups - all in one class! My patience was worn down to the last thread. He stresses himself out every time, and he usually stresses out some of the other students in the class. They have become used to him "oh that's just how he is" - but this attitude is self-defeating, negative, and definitely not necessary. After the class I informed the manager about this man (I had mentioned him before) and then worked out my frustrations on the elliptical machine. I am a peaceful person, but when people who have such a negative mindset push my buttons, I seriously need to pump some iron!
These students I have mentioned remind me of the aforementioned people in Arizona with whom I had my challenging relationships. The one man (a 42-year-old man who dates 20-something women) literally complains about everything. He is either complaining, or says negative things about a situation or person, to the point of applying prejudice or unhealthy bias. The girl he is currently with puts up with his negative antics (or at her young age does not know any better), although he finally wore me down, I had to remove his thorn from my side. This man was not merely an irritation, like a small pebble in a shoe, but rather a ton of rocks in my socks, my pockets, and carrying as weight upon my shoulders. Despite his own heaviness, he did not see the "log" in his own eye, he repeatedly made a point to point out the "speck" in mine. My ex and his other friends did the same thing, painted me as some sort of a villain. I realize that everyone has their issues, some even have their skeletons. Better to shake them out and rid them of cobwebs than to continue to wave them around, spreading dirt and brokenness to all the "living" creatures - or those who choose to live peacefully and happily.
My challenge to everyone: try to live your life without bringing other people down. Work things out, find solutions, make amends, just stop your bickering. Placing blame on others or constantly pointing out negative aspects of a situation or a person reflects a negative mindset, an unhealthy perspective, and a poor attitude. My ex had a huge ego - he could do nothing wrong, although his judgment was WAY OFF. He blamed me for EVERYTHING, especially his own faults and shortcomings. He even created scenarios in his own mind that were not even real, then disseminating this false pretense among his friends and family, as though I were some sort of an evil woman. When in reality I am somewhat of a peace-maker, grounded, educated, and spiritual. You can place blame on anyone or anything, but recognizing the fact that your reality is a reflection of your perception, and your attitude about what you perceive.
I have indeed endured lot of interesting situations and scenarios in the last few months, I have barely begun to scratch the surface of my current "dramas". But as you can see, regardless of where life takes me, I must deal with my fair share of challenges, and maintain a positive mindset. As my manager said, "everything happens for a reason". I am eternally grateful to him for giving me that chance to sub the first Yoga class that day, it has turned into a wonderful rewarding job (despite having to deal with challenging people). Remember we are not responsible for anyone else's Karma, but perhaps we can help them with their attitudes. Sometimes a move to a new city, or even a visit to a different city can help adjust our perspective. We don't have to wheel around on a scooter to appreciate all our working limbs.
Every time I visit with my best friend, we exchange stories, and we end up being thankful we are exactly where we are, and NOT in each others' shoes. She has 3 kids and home ownership/financial issues, I have no kids or parenting issues, but I daily endure all sorts of other scenarios, mainly interpersonal. A "drama" can be put into proper perspective when looking at another situation of greater difficulty. An attitude of gratitude can take us a lot farther in life than a lot of bickering, complaining, negativity, and finger-pointing. Choose your own attitude, but try to see situations from other perspectives.
posted by :: Lisa :: at 11:11 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home