taking stock

Unless you've been living under a rock, I'm sure you're well aware of the recent fluctuation of the volatile US stock market, as well as throughout international markets. Markets have also been volatile in Greece and throughout Europe for several years, and as you undoubtedly know, Greece made the switch to the Euro for their standard of currency upon its inclusion into the EU. According to Biblical Prophecy, in the End Times, our world and its inhabitants will have become so unruly that we must resort to a unified currency, unified government, and possibly even a one-world religion. I say "possibly" regarding religion, only because human free will lends to individual personal choice, versus the globalization of governments which may manifest as the impending doom of the inevitable. Do you see the writing on the wall, in the economy, the government, and in upheavals throughout the Middle East? Syria, Iran, and Russia will join forces to attack and attempt to destroy Israel. It's already happening.

Last weekend I attended a Yoga/Ayurveda/Sacred Music Festival in Santa Monica, California (about 2 1/2 hours from San Diego). I was invited by an old friend who has always been into spirituality and higher consciousness, with a very global mindset, like myself, and another friend who I used to train Capoeira with in Arizona, several years ago. I've found that surrounding myself with like-minded individuals, with similar cultural interests, broader understanding of the world we live in, and open-minded acceptance of humankind's differences, bring me into a better personal space - mentally, spiritually, and even physically. While many of these open-minded transcendent folks may be more liberal in their political views, they don't aim to minimize mine, in fact we can dialog and interact with one another in a more open respectful and educated way. I mean, I respect their views and they respect mine, because we respect each other as fellow humankind, coexisting together. We share a common focus on health, wellness, and mindfulness, and this is what it really boils down to - the condition of the heart.

I finally hooked up my little TV I found in an alley in Seattle, so I could watch the Chargers pre-season NFL game yesterday. I just watched a surfing documentary on the Universal Sports network. They are in Bali, not only talking about the great surfing there, but about the culture of this beautiful part of the world. I have never been to Bali but from everything I've heard, I know I would absolutely love it. In addition to being paradise on earth, the locals these surfers encountered were so peaceful and centered. They described their religion as a mix between Hinduism and Buddhism. One cultural ritual some of the locals practiced was in giving offerings (looked like a plate of fruit and flowers, with incense) to both the low life (people who cause traffic accidents, mean or impatient people), and those they honor or revere (peaceful, positive, helpful people), and/or their gods. While I am spiritually grounded and can generally deduce good from bad energy fairly easily, I can also appreciate these types of ritual traditions of other cultures. In the Bible, Jesus instructs us: if someone asks for your shirt, give him your coat also (Matthew 5:40, paraphrased). Be mindful of those less fortunate than you, and treat others with the respect you'd expect. Be mindful of other walks of life, their cultural, religious, and political beliefs. We may be forced to live under a one-world government with them someday soon!

Since the festival last weekend, I have felt incredibly inspired, motivated, and more in-tune with my surroundings and my overall life path and mission on this earth. Despite current circumstances which are not ideal (aspects of finances, stock market, family's health, a few interpersonal relationships), I am more able to put these in proper perspective, and thrive in my own environment. In my current profession of teaching Yoga, I am also able to draw on these inner truths and higher consciousness, as strength comes from within. I always play international/world music in my classes, and I throw out all kinds of little nuggets regarding Yoga/Eastern philosophy and aspects of spirituality in my classes. Yoga is a mind-body practice, and known for centuries as one of the healing arts. It has its roots in ancient cultures of India and China, encompassing (and transcending) elements of Hinduism, Buddhism, incorporating meditation, transcendence, and expanded levels of consciousness and awareness. These concepts are foreign to a lot of Westerners, not only regarding religion (though Yoga itself is not a religion per se), but in challenging themselves to detach from unpleasant circumstances as they focus their gaze inward. Focusing on the breath for an entire hour as we stretch, balance, and strengthen our bodies is a simple way to do this - and ideally blend a little bit of East with West.

In addition to teaching Yoga, I will begin teaching my online class, World Culture and the Arts again in a few weeks. Besides vocationally, I have been striving to improve myself interpersonally, as I continue to weed out the rotten apples (people with negative energy, narrow-minded ideals, and shallow intentions). This process will only continue as I grow and progress in my own life. Speaking of apples, I admitted to my Facebook community that "the worst decision I ever made was selling my Apple stock in 1998", shortly before the iMac and iPod were introduced. One of my stock-savvy lawyer friends (whom I fondly refer to as "my lawyer" in my pet-naming system of friends and foes) pointed out that had I not sold it, my investment would have earned $30,000 by now. Another friend pointed out that this was indeed not the "worst" decision I've ever made, referring to some poor relationship choices. In re-evaluating this comment, I would indeed prioritize my mental/emotional health over any stock account. After all, in the words of Dierks Bentley (whom I had the opportunity to see in concert the other night), "I could make a million or wind up broke... can't take it with you when you go... so, free and easy down the road I go!" Time to take stock, in mind, body, and soul.

it's not you, it's me

There has certainly been a lot going on in our world within the last few weeks, terror attacks in Norway and India, escalated violence in Libya, Syria, and Yemen, and successful bipartisan efforts to curb the US national debt crisis - problems as well as solutions. People are born every day, and people die every day. But when that person is close to you, such widespread common occurrences suddenly become localized. People often blame someone else for their problems. A political party, a terror group, corporations, or even the government itself. Have you ever blamed someone else for something you should have taken the blame for yourself? Have you ever taken someone else for granted, their talents, strengths, or contributions to your life, their community or workplace, or their place in in the world, worse yet, have you criticized someone for the work that they do? Maybe someone trying to help another, doing what they knew or thought to be right, dedicating their efforts to stand for or contribute to their beliefs, their work, their political party, or their country?

Throughout the history of this blog, I have shared personal stories from my travels abroad and throughout the US, compared and contrasted many people groups, religions, cultures, ethnicities, political parties, and paradigms. Everybody has a voice, everybody has a platform from which to raise that voice and to let their beliefs be known to others. Some people choose to keep their thoughts and feelings inside, others choose to debate or rationalize, still others choose to stir up controversy, sometimes to the point of conflict or inflicting harm upon others. I always stick to the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated. But not everyone operates that way. Some people (we can also apply this to religious groups, terror groups, political parties, etc) see things only one way - and it's "their way or the highway". In recent months I have shared scenarios from my personal life regarding an ex and his narrow-minded way of thinking, his hostile, crude, demeaning behaviors and negative mindset (similar to terrorist ways), although despite this rigid frigidity, rallied his troops to his cause, fighting against those who represent goodness and truth (namely myself). Do you ever stop to think that for once, just once, such narrow-minded groups (again can apply to personal, political, religious) take the time to consider the sanctity of life, and the families or health of others? Probably not, crude is crude, rude is rude, and disrespectful is, well... perhaps akin to blasphemous.

A few months ago, I was selected to be featured in a series of fitness videos, to appear on a public website available for download by members who paid monthly fees or subscriptions to the site. I filmed a total of 4 videos, 2 of which I was only paid for half a session (though still the same amount of mileage and gas to get to their studio), and I never saw or received any of the footage of my fitness instruction. Unfortunately the scheduling never quite seemed to work out for all parties in an ideal manner, thus my involvement with this production ceased. The problem was two-fold - though of course, there are at least 2 sides to every story. First of all, this was a new "start-up" fitness company, they were supposed to go live with the website in May, it is now August and the site still does not exist on the internet nor any fitness videos to download. Secondly, the individuals in question are two 24 or 25 year-old men, with absolutely no business sense, no viable communication or organizational skills to speak of, and no respect for other humans, namely females.

Of course I found this out the hard way, through trial-and-error, as I ultimately figure out most interpersonal situations in which I've been fooled or taken advantage of in some way. After filming the 4 videos, and during said timeframe, numerous situations came up which were (as I surmised) caused by forces of the universe - beyond our human control (to some extent), forcing scheduled filming sessions to get canceled. These situations included: one of the guys slicing part of his finger off while cooking and having to spend the weekend in the hospital, one of the guys having to go out of town and thereby cancel all the weekend's scheduled sessions, one of them having to transfer video footage before he could film me thereby changing our appointment time twice in one day ultimately cancelling it, another day they misplaced or lost a video cable, again having to cancel our appointment, one day it started raining suddenly and we were supposed to film outdoors, and one day while on my way to meet them witnessed an accident on the freeway with corresponding traffic jam, which ultimately kept me from the filming session. Talk about the Universe being against us. I knew it wasn't me, but perhaps them, and perhaps just the forces of nature to some extent.

Other than the traffic and weather issues, I finally decided something had to give, and I said "look, why don't we work out some kind of a filming schedule, I'll write up a proposal" followed by a detailed lengthy email of my entire schedule, including full details of when I was and wasn't available, where I would be specifically and at what times - so there would be no further confusion regarding MY availability. I believed I was doing my part, and that was all I could do. After two such detailed lengthy emails with all the specifics, I received no response. I thought "ahh 20-year olds are sooo busy that they cannot reply to an email" as I'd experienced such ignorant behavior by other men in the past. Several weeks later, one of them posted on his Facebook page "we are looking for quality instructors, we will pay $30 an hour!" I read this and thought: finally, a response! I immediately replied: "sounds great, I'll definitely do it for $30, I wondered what happened to you guys." I had been paid anywhere from $12 to $25 for previous sessions with them, so I was eager to get started at the higher rate, now that they seemed to have increased their instructor pay, and fortunately now had my new, fully detailed schedule to reference. A few days later I received an email from one of the guys which stated "you've stood us up too many times in the past for us to want to continue this relationship." Come again? This is a "relationship"? and *I* am the Universe? *I* caused your finger to get sliced off, your video camera cable to stop working, and accidents on the freeway? I mean, I've been blamed for forces of the Universe in past "relationships", but really: "it's not you, it's me. Or, it's not me, it's you! Wow. I wonder if my ex paid them off...? Maybe just the liberalism that comes with the territory in California?

Lately I've become too busy to even worry about what to do about these guys, or if I should just forget about it- like I said earlier, they are very young and inexperienced. I am guessing they continue to film people and move on to the next, a bit like recycling. Use em and lose em. As human lives, feelings, emotions, souls, and dedication are, well disposable. No sooner did one drama end in my life, the next one began. About a month ago, the guy (I believe around age 21 or 22) who lives next door to my rental apartment, was having a loud late-night party. He has had several of these, but this time it was unreasonable. I leaned my head out the door and asked them to be quiet at least 4 times, as most of the tenants were trying to sleep (this was about 2am on a Wednesday, a work-night). Of course the guy never listens to me. For example, he smokes outside my window when he knows I am allergic to smoke, and the windows are not insulated properly. Anyway a few minutes later I pop my head out the door again (to once again tell them to quiet down), only to see him carrying a young woman about 21 years old, in his arms out of his apartment - he then proceeded to THROW her - literally - down the concrete stairs, backwards, head over heels. The woman was badly injured, the police and paramedics came to her rescue. Meanwhile the neighbors and I were still trying to sleep (so much for that idea!) I heard the guy "testifying" to the police, saying "I didn't touch her, I don't know how she got down the stairs!" Once again I popped my head out the door and this time told the police exactly what happened. Not only did he throw a young woman down the stairs, he lied to the police about it! He was arrested that night and went to jail, but he has since been telling neighbors "that girl is crazy, I have a restraining order against her". Therefore, that makes it OK to throw her down the stairs and send her to the emergency room (or into a coma)?

I doubt that any of these men in the above stories, nor my ex or his idiot friends have ever lost a loved one, or if they have, do not have the audacity to put themselves in someone else's shoes for just one moment. These are the kinds of disrespectful, heartless people who my best guy-friend refers to as "douche-bags" - as crude as that term may sound - fitting for their ignorant mindset and degrading behavior towards other humans. Who throws another human down a concrete flight of stairs? Who slices one's own finger off then blames someone who was not even there for the mishap? Who bombs a city or center of commerce, like the terror attacks in Mumbai, Norway, or the World Trade Center? Justifying that its OK, because one's religious, political, or personal views support or inspire it? Who is right, the Muslim who believes he's commanded by his God to kill non-Muslims, or the Christian who thinks its wrong to kill, because the Bible (God's 10 Commandments) instructs us not to? So then does this make it ok to "hurt" someone, by throwing them down the stairs, as long as we don't "kill" them? Or only if they are "crazy" and we have a restraining order against them? Likewise, must we continually object to individuals of an opposing political party, because they vote against a bill that we support (or vice versa)? What about those individuals' personal feelings, their bodies, their souls? Or must we place blame with no regard for others? It's not me, it's YOU.

I don't know for sure if all of the aforementioned individuals who have crossed me (or another woman in my presence) know that I lost my Dad a little over 2 1/2 years ago. I'm pretty sure they're too wrapped up in themselves to care about another human life. Although if it were their Dad, they would probably think differently. But they can't put themselves in someone else's shoes. Similarly, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer about 7 months ago, around the time when I was with my ex. He and all his friends were made fully aware of the situation, I invited him to meet her, everything. He was just so ignorant and disrespectful about the whole thing, like he didn't even care about her health. I remember having a conversation with my mom while visiting her in the hospital right around New Years, about him standing me up. She had advised me something to the effect of seeking quality relationships with men who did not "use me" or otherwise disrespect me. I told her he was just busy, and I knew he was "the one" because that is what he had made me to believe, and of course I trusted him because he was introduced to me by a good friend (who else can you trust?). However this was well before I discovered many of his unhealthy tendencies including but not limited to his hostile behaviors. Thank God he never threw me down the stairs!

I wish my mom could have met him because she is a very good judge of character and could have spared me months of being disrespected and degraded by he and his friends. She is now suffering from adverse effects of cancer treatments, and is very very weak. I am trusting God to keep her in His care and make her healthy again. I've already lost my Dad to a debilitating disease, I don't want to lose my mom too. Now I wish I lived in the same state so I can see her, but I did not move to AZ in favor of my safety from the hostile ex. Instead I have a violent neighbor who is also hostile to women. I wish people (men in particular) could be more sensitive to human life. My ex and his friends KNOW what I went through with my Dad, but they are inconsiderate - they just sit around and make jokes about me, my family, and my family's health. How disrespectful they are, how inhumane! My Dad was the most genuine trustworthy wonderful man in the world, and My Mom is equally wonderful and special. Sure people are born and die every day, but why are my family and I discredited, belittled, and persecuted? How long will you go on doing this? Stop hurting other people, blaming other people for your own idiocy, and try a little understanding and compassion. It's not all about YOU, it's also about the other person, and believe it or not, you might actually be WRONG. I wish more people would realize that human life is precious, and we only have one life to live - in the best way we can. People are not discardable.

choose your attitude

For years, I have been blogging about international politics and current events. In recent months my focus has become localized, particularly onto individuals whom I know personally. I realize that everyone has their issues, whether a terrorist world leader across the globe, an ex in another state, or myself, my students, my family, and my friends. My best friend who is a flight attendant came to visit me in San Diego on an overnight the other day, and we were able to catch up, as we usually do. We were long overdue for an update on each others' lives, although I had just seen her a month ago in Los Angeles. A lot has happened in a month. A lot continues to happen. And everything happens for a reason. When it happens, I never know quite what the reason is. After time elapses, the lesson is usually revealed to me eventually, or something finally gives.

Before I decided to move back to San Diego, I was here on vacation, on a break between Seattle and Phoenix, awaiting a job transfer to Phoenix. As the transfer fell through, so did a few key relationships with a few friends and a guy I was seeing in Arizona, who I was 100% dedicated to. At the time, I thought I could not bear to be without these people in my life, but as time progressed, I realized how I could not live WITH their negative attitudes in my life. Looking back upon that time-frame, I wonder now how I was even able to maintain such a narrow focus on these few select individuals, who meant the world to me. The world is a really big place, it was time to adjust my perspective, while maintaining a positive mindset.

While I was in San Diego on vacation, I decided to attend a few Yoga classes. Yoga is a personal discipline which helps ground me, both physically and mentally/emotionally, as it is a mind-body practice. One class I attended was taught by a fit gay black man, who played loud house music and made the class sweat, almost as though he was a drill-sergeant. The next class I attended, the instructor did not show up. All of the students sat around bewildered, until someone informed the manager that there was no instructor. He then asked if anyone wanted to teach the class (was he serious?). I volunteered, and the group was exceedingly grateful. The manager had a great sense of humor, and put others before himself - as he'd rather ask a random person to teach the class than to cancel it for the 20 people sitting around waiting. However at first impression, I didn't know what to think of this guy - desperate or dedicated?

Subbing that random class led to the job I have now, teaching Yoga and other fitness classes in America's Finest City. I have had several conversations with that manager since our first encounter, and when reflecting back upon it, he stated "everything happens for a reason". He is a great manager to work for, as are all of my other managers. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, although at the time, the circumstances around my relocation looked bleak and hopeless. In recent months, I have not only re-acclimated to my previous home of 14 years, home to my favorite sports teams, the beautiful coastlines of the Pacific Ocean, and home to many of my lifetime friends. I have likewise made many new friends, experienced many new situations and encountered new dramas, far more interesting and less ridiculous than the Arizona dramas. Of course, everywhere I go drama seems to follow me, but it is my positive attitude and my transcendent perspective that helps me rise above the challenges that might pull another person down.

That's not to say my life is not filled with challenges, it is - its just a matter of keeping a positive mindset. For example, I teach one Yoga class in a fairly affluent part of town. I guess their affluence somehow gives these members the liberty to act out of selfishness or haughtiness. For the past several weeks, one member has been complaining about the temperature in our classroom. I agree it is well below appropriate temperature for a Yoga class, or any human gathering. This person got me on her bandwagon for a while, she had already complained to the management and nothing changed, so I went up and spoke with the powers-that-be myself. I found out that the air conditioning was controlled by the building management, and the building houses several other businesses, who rely on air conditioning as an essential aspect of their company's operation. In other words, there was no way for me (or our management) to change the temperature.

I have confirmed this information to my students in recent weeks, but the woman continues to bicker about the cold classroom and influence others with her negative mindset. Today she busted in and announced "whoever is here first needs to close these doors, and the doors in the back, so it stays warmer in here", while I was setting up the class and connecting with students. She seemed to get everyone riled up, and before I knew it, the bickering took over. It was my job to cut it off and get them to simmer down. I first suggested everyone wear layers of clothing to class. I then started immediately into the practice, asking students to focus on (and be grateful for) their breath. Grateful for a beautiful environment to practice Yoga in. Grateful for all their working limbs. The bickering finally stopped, but only after these individuals realized I had begun the practice amidst their complaining. My eyes were closed, I was focused on my breath, and many of the conscientious students followed suit. After class, everyone appeared much more peaceful than when they came in. I had done my job. I later mentioned the continued bickering to the manager, who has a broken foot and wheels herself around on a scooter. Are we grateful for all our working limbs, that we can practice Yoga at all? The manager can't, yet she did try to help us with the temperature control initially. Are we grateful for our breath, that it sustains us minute-by-minute, day-after-day? We are not hooked up to an oxygen tank, as my Dad was while in the hospital, just before he passed away from a lung condition. Are we grateful for a beautiful space to practice Yoga, with nice hardwood floors, mirrored walls, amazing acoustics, and peaceful serene lighting?

I teach another class for Senior Citizens. One man complains almost daily, and his negativity is really starting to wear on me. I usually have some sort of positive anecdote for him. He says things like "I am an 86-year-old man, I can't do any of this" when in reality he does just fine. If its not one thing, its another with him. One day he'll complain about the music, another day about my microphone. Last week he complained about the music, the microphone, the room temperature, the level of difficulty of the exercises, and random people coming into the room to do sit-ups - all in one class! My patience was worn down to the last thread. He stresses himself out every time, and he usually stresses out some of the other students in the class. They have become used to him "oh that's just how he is" - but this attitude is self-defeating, negative, and definitely not necessary. After the class I informed the manager about this man (I had mentioned him before) and then worked out my frustrations on the elliptical machine. I am a peaceful person, but when people who have such a negative mindset push my buttons, I seriously need to pump some iron!

These students I have mentioned remind me of the aforementioned people in Arizona with whom I had my challenging relationships. The one man (a 42-year-old man who dates 20-something women) literally complains about everything. He is either complaining, or says negative things about a situation or person, to the point of applying prejudice or unhealthy bias. The girl he is currently with puts up with his negative antics (or at her young age does not know any better), although he finally wore me down, I had to remove his thorn from my side. This man was not merely an irritation, like a small pebble in a shoe, but rather a ton of rocks in my socks, my pockets, and carrying as weight upon my shoulders. Despite his own heaviness, he did not see the "log" in his own eye, he repeatedly made a point to point out the "speck" in mine. My ex and his other friends did the same thing, painted me as some sort of a villain. I realize that everyone has their issues, some even have their skeletons. Better to shake them out and rid them of cobwebs than to continue to wave them around, spreading dirt and brokenness to all the "living" creatures - or those who choose to live peacefully and happily.

My challenge to everyone: try to live your life without bringing other people down. Work things out, find solutions, make amends, just stop your bickering. Placing blame on others or constantly pointing out negative aspects of a situation or a person reflects a negative mindset, an unhealthy perspective, and a poor attitude. My ex had a huge ego - he could do nothing wrong, although his judgment was WAY OFF. He blamed me for EVERYTHING, especially his own faults and shortcomings. He even created scenarios in his own mind that were not even real, then disseminating this false pretense among his friends and family, as though I were some sort of an evil woman. When in reality I am somewhat of a peace-maker, grounded, educated, and spiritual. You can place blame on anyone or anything, but recognizing the fact that your reality is a reflection of your perception, and your attitude about what you perceive.

I have indeed endured lot of interesting situations and scenarios in the last few months, I have barely begun to scratch the surface of my current "dramas". But as you can see, regardless of where life takes me, I must deal with my fair share of challenges, and maintain a positive mindset. As my manager said, "everything happens for a reason". I am eternally grateful to him for giving me that chance to sub the first Yoga class that day, it has turned into a wonderful rewarding job (despite having to deal with challenging people). Remember we are not responsible for anyone else's Karma, but perhaps we can help them with their attitudes. Sometimes a move to a new city, or even a visit to a different city can help adjust our perspective. We don't have to wheel around on a scooter to appreciate all our working limbs.

Every time I visit with my best friend, we exchange stories, and we end up being thankful we are exactly where we are, and NOT in each others' shoes. She has 3 kids and home ownership/financial issues, I have no kids or parenting issues, but I daily endure all sorts of other scenarios, mainly interpersonal. A "drama" can be put into proper perspective when looking at another situation of greater difficulty. An attitude of gratitude can take us a lot farther in life than a lot of bickering, complaining, negativity, and finger-pointing. Choose your own attitude, but try to see situations from other perspectives.

karma police

"Karma Police, I've given all I can, it's not enough. I've given I can but we're still on the payroll. This is what you'll get when you mess with us." -Radiohead

This song by one of my favorite bands totally resonates with me, as sometimes I feel like the Karma Police myself. However, although I am not responsible for anyone else's Karma, I observe people making bad decisions every day, and I really wish I could help them. "Do unto others as you would have done to you" is an age-old Universal Truth. So why don't people realize it, and simply comply with the Universe? The forces of the Universe are greater than us, but people continue to anger the gods daily. "This is what you'll get when you mess with us." When people project their ill-mannered behaviors onto me personally, I quietly sing the lyrics slightly altered "this is what you'll get, when you cross a Scorpio!" Bad idea in general.

I've written about a few such folks in recent blog postings, who've purposely crossed this Scorpio, and their resulting Karma was not pretty - a severed finger, someone was arrested for substance abuse, etc. "It ain't pretty after the show. It ain't pretty when the pretty leaves you with no place to go" -JD Fortune. Anyway, these people still have to live with themselves regardless of how poorly they treat ME. I do wonder how long they can keep on keeping on as total inconsiderate "humans" (doesn't this defy all laws of human coexistence?). Not only will it catch up with them, it's not very attractive. Not to mention they live in the hot dirty mess of a desert cesspool in Phoenix Arizona. I am often baffled when reflecting upon how I ever got involved with anyone of this lower-end of humanity to begin with! These men are extreme bottom feeders, the ones who suck the life breath out of healthy species, they sure took a lot of my energy. I was talking to a friend today, explaining how I ended up back in San Diego, after I was supposed to move back to Phoenix. After severing a few unhealthy relationships with people who daily bask in their own negativity, paranoid delusions, and condescending attitudes, I admitted to this friend that I am indeed in a better place without them in my life. San Diego it is - 70 degrees today versus 110. Its a no-brainer!

In the case of my ex, the lyrics of the Radiohead song Karma Police totally apply: "I've given all I can it's not enough. I've given all I can but we're still on the payroll." I gave and gave and gave to that relationship. I went out of my way for the guy. I would do anything for him. I even requested a job transfer from the most beautiful place I've ever lived, Seattle, to the dirtiest ugliest hottest place Phoenix, just to be with him. What did I get in return? A major slap in the face, extreme emotional abuse, a few severed long-term friendships, and loss of work for about 2 months while dealing with health issues brought on by his irresponsible and insensitive behavior. But we're still on the payroll. What does that mean? Regardless of what I do to try and improve the situation, I cannot control the Universe, but God has a greater plan, and I need to just persevere as I live my own life to its fullest. I can't worry about him, he will get his karmic payback for what he did to me, in some form or another. I choose to be a positive person, spreading love and light wherever I go, treating others as I want to be treated, smiling at strangers, helping others improve their lives in some way. I am only responsible for my own Karma.

There may still be a lesson to be learned from all of this - though I've yet to understand if/how these individuals will ever be a part of my life again. I'd love to make amends with them, if only they could somehow become positive, loving, caring, understanding, compassionate people. We are indeed still on the payroll, a part of this human race together, until the Universe dictates otherwise. After 6 months of rough waters from the wake of this tumultuous extravaganza, I'm still afloat. I'm rebuilding. I'm staying positive. I'm surrounding myself with healthy (physically and mentally) people. I'm doing my part. I'm sharing my good energy with others, and I'm staying positive. Meanwhile Captain Hostile and company are the ones who have to live with themselves, and are likely still going around treating others with disrespect as they insist on doing to me. They operate like shady criminals, lying about people and situations, one lie covers up the next, and the next, until their reality is built upon lies. Its almost like an alternate reality, their story is so skewed. I figure that at some point, he will be so worn down by his own negativity, previously directed at me. And for what purpose does he do this? It certainly doesn't add any years to his life. In my absence, who is he directing it upon now, or is he still venting about ME, a person who gives nothing but love and positive energy? I haven't been the direct recipient of that hostile energy for a while, though a few of my friends have suffered his wrath. He is a fire sign, so of course burning up in his own negativity. I can't change that, just like I can't control the tides. Fortunately, a new moon and a solar eclipse are upon us today, inspiring everyone to make positive changes as we enter a new cycle.

In case any of my readers are still not familiar with the concept of Karma (what goes around comes around), I will assure you that this can also manifest in a positive way. For example, I am the polar opposite of my ex and his weirdo druggie friends. I spread positive energy everywhere I go. I am a giving person, with a kind heart and a devoted soul. I honor God and the Divine in all that I do. I live every moment to the fullest, and I embrace every relationship with reckless abandon -as we may never have another shot. Life can end in the blink of an eye, why waste it by being negative or condescending? Anyway, today, my endless good energy + Divine timing resulted in some good Karmic payback for me. This afternoon I walked out to the alley to throw out my trash, and suddenly 2 random people appeared, carrying this really nice IKEA dresser they were just going to leave in the alley because the girl was moving out. SCORE! All my furniture is back in Phoenix, so I can really use this dresser! I thought maybe it was my reward for always being so giving. When I left Seattle a few months ago, I left a nice futon and IKEA shelf behind *for whomever*, which I had actually received in a similar manner (in the alley and from a previous tenant). Coincidentally, the girl getting rid of her dresser - to the "magic alley" as she called it - was originally from Seattle. Yep, that's how it works! The Universe gives you what you need, when you need it, and in such a way that you know it could only be Divine Providence. That is, when you keep your heart, mind, and intentions right.

"Karma Police, I've given all I can it's not enough. I've given I can but we're still on the payroll." I've given all I can, but it IS enough. It's just enough for today. Wherever you go, your Karma follows you. If you project positivity and a giving spirit, you will receive the same good energy. We remain on the payroll as long as we inhabit this earth. Your life is yours to do what you want with. You can choose to get involved in toxic relationships with negative condescending people, or you can choose to take the high road and detach yourself from them. Then you can watch through the window, as they tiptoe across broken glass or stumble through desert valleys with swords in hand, to bring other people down into their cesspools of negativity. Call the Karma Police, its a New Moon. We all have a choice, manifest Love and Light, and be the peace.

la haim - to health

I'm sure you've raised your glass to another person, in a bar or at a dinner party, and said "cheers", in a toast to good fortune or otherwise reveling in celebration. In the Hebrew we raise our glass to toast and say "la haim", which when translated means "to health". Do you consider yourself healthy? Your initial reaction to this question might be "of course I am, that's a silly question". Many people consider themselves healthy, or at least in average health, regardless of unhealthy lifestyle choices they might intentionally make (or mind, body, for spirit). Many others take their health for granted, and even their own breath, which is a gift, as your breath sustains you. You are likely not hooked up to an oxygen tank, therefore awareness of your breath is secondary, if not completely dismissed from your thoughts. You instead might focus your thoughts on work, family, home responsibilities, social life, or even fixate on imperfections you find in others, and allow any of these things to "take over" your life or cause you undue stress. Many people claim they don't have time to work out, travel, or get outdoors into the fresh air, they say they are too busy, have no money, or otherwise speak negative or self-destructive thoughts over their circumstances. I have even heard people go as far as to say they don't have time for a friendship with someone, and they don't even care about another human being's health (physical, emotional, or spiritual), discrediting the beliefs or lifestyle choices of healthy people as "not good enough" for them, or invalid altogether. They prefer to fixate on their own negativity and speak negatively of others rather than to embrace friendship or even act cordial to other humans.

Take a few moments to consider which kind of person you are, healthy or unhealthy? If you claim to be a healthy individual, what parts of your daily lifestyle contribute to your good health? Do you go to the gym, practice yoga, hike, or go for walks around your neighborhood? Do you travel frequently, to explore your world, get out of your little box, and experience other cultures, cities, and countries? Do you eat healthy foods, raw vegetables, natural proteins, avoiding processed foods, bleached carbohydrates, and deep fried fatty excess? Is your weight at an ideal for your age, height, and bone structure? Do you take time to consciously recognize that the spine and core muscles protect your inner organs? Are all your organs in good working condition? How do you know, if you cannot see them? If yes, for how long do you project they will remain that way? Do you smoke, drink alcohol excessively, or use illegal drugs, or abuse any of these substances to the point of addiction? What about other addictions? Do you watch violent, bloody, gory movies, television shows, or play video games containing violence, promoting death and destruction? Do you think that as long as its fiction, then it has no effect on your real life? Did you graduate from high school? Were you active in sports, class council, or receive any honors or scholarships? Do you have a college degree, Bachelors or Masters? Do you read to enhance your personal life, challenge your mind, or increase your knowledge? Do you believe everything you read, hear on TV, or hear from other people, whether you know them well or not? Do you go to church, believe in God, or practice a religion or spiritual path? Do you embrace basic human principles such as "the Golden Rule", treating others (even strangers) with respect, or at least with some ounce of kindness and decency?

Life is a journey. Regardless of where you live in the world, what you do for work, how many children or siblings you have, and what kind of education you have chosen to obtain. As humans, we are all pilgrims on our own journey through life. One wrong choice can lead us into addiction, disease, or even an unwanted child (as if life itself were unwanted) leading to a negative mindset about some aspect of our health (mind, body, spirit). As humans we are also all created as spiritual beings. The simple act of respecting other humans shows that we have an evolved awareness and decision-making process beyond that of a non-evolved species, such as a household pet. Although I've met men who act like dogs, eat like pigs, and treat women like trash. If you have fallen guilty of that, please take some time to reflect on the above paragraphs, and consider the way you treat women - or disrespect them - as a part of a unhealthy lifestyle.

In this journey of life, wherever it takes you, Israel, Mexico, Japan, or the United States, coexistence with other humans is essential. When natural disasters strike such as have recently in Japan and the United States, connecting with other humans, respecting and caring about their lives, and even coming to their aid, is one outward way to demonstrate that you are a healthy person - you care enough to care about someone other than yourself. If a man-made disaster such as violent clashes in Israel and other parts of the Middle East, or acts of terrorism in any part of the world, we may suddenly find ourselves victim to the violence, in which case we can only hope our lives will be spared.

As for our own spiritual connection to the life journey, most people do believe in a higher force of life, a creator or a guide, whether a God, a prophet, angels, and also demons. The energy of the Universe suggests a greater life force, as evidenced by the vast creation of the earth, sky, stars, moon, sun, and planets. Choosing how or what we believe about these tangible aspects of environment as well as foundations built on faith, require a healthy mind, to work in tune with a healthy soul, or spirit. Just as the God of Israel led the Hebrew people out of the wilderness into their own homeland, He too can lead you to safety, out of and away from unhealthy lifestyles, unhealthy "friends" (who may support your unhealthy lifestyle while simultaneously making equally unhealthy choices of their own) just as He continues to provide a safe haven for the Jews despite violent clashes in their homeland.

Make a conscious effort today to live a healthy lifestyle, in the best way you can. You can begin by treating others with respect (even if you feel they've wronged you), and don't speak evil or negative thoughts over them - as you likely don't truly know what has gone on in their life journey. If you feel someone has wronged you, go to them and ask their forgiveness, make things right, instead of living with a grudge against them. Ill feelings or negative thoughts can also contribute to health problems, with the internal organs, excess weight, as well as a clouded mind or figuratively, a hardened heart. Raise your glass to health - "la haim" - as you embrace the world around you and make a conscious effort to be a positive person, on your own individual life journey on this planet.

lost angels

This past weekend, I visited Redondo Beach, in Los Angeles. I have been a San Diegan most of my adult life, I rarely venture much north of San Diego County, but I have indeed been up to LA a handful of times. Los Angeles means "the angels" in Spanish, or often referred to as the "city of angels". However other than the Anaheim Angels Major League Baseball team, I have not seen an angel, or anything "holy" for that matter, in this particular region of Southern California. This region is home to perhaps the most immoral, ungodly people, with focus on SELF, their egos, their bodies, even plastic surgery for some in maintaining this focus. Thus many individuals are seemingly "fake" or trying to "be someone", as Hollywood beckons and debauchery abounds. Of course ungodly and immoral people live all over the world, but in the United States, Los Angeles has always been known as a mecca for sin-filled lifestyles. There is a lot more crime, violence, and illegal activity to match. In recent years, Arizona seems to have become an "extension" of Los Angeles, as many Californians realized how much cheaper the cost of living is there, and have migrated east. Hence the Phoenix metropolitan area has become overrun by Lost Angels, and I continue to detach myself from this mayhem each year I move away to someplace different (Israel, Seattle, now once again to San Diego).

In recent blogs, I have mentioned a group of people who live in Arizona (extension of LA), known as Team Hostile. These are perhaps some of the most "lost souls" I have encountered in my lifetime. Most of them are addicted to illegal drugs, alcohol, pornography, other evil-influenced media, and choose to live the same sort of self-proclaimed immoral lifestyles as in LA, and as in the Bible before the Great Flood. While spending time in Redondo Beach with my best friend who is a flight attendant (on a long layover there), I shared many stories with her regarding these immoral people and their incredulously ludicrous antics. I told her I ended up filing a police report due to threats upon my safety by a few of them. One of them (a health professional who is ironically a Marijuana addict, dating another drug addict, go figure) spouted off all sorts of delusional banter in an email to me, going off on me about my beliefs, told me "no one cared about my beliefs" or my blog (lol you're reading it aren't you?), accused me of stalking her, and other ridiculous talk. Another friend of theirs threatened to hire a "hit man" to come after me and kill me. And yet another threatened to violently beat me to death. This was a 20-something year-old girl who had just been released from an Arizona Prison on substance abuse charges. I was rather appalled, as although over the years people have shown opposition to my beliefs, no one has actually threatened to physically injure or kill me.

My friend was perhaps the most startled by the revelation that the leader of this pack (Captain Hostile himself) has his own pornography website. She asked "if he has his own porn website, how does he never have any money?" I thought that was a great question, and I told her probably because he spends all his money on upkeep for the website, alcohol, and drugs. His friend who is a gambling addict keeps up that addiction to feed his drug addiction. Its an ongoing dependent cycle, but certainly not a healthy one (as co-dependence rarely is). I also heard that these two men practice bisexual acts with each other and other men. Really, are these REAL people I write about? Who lives their lives like this? A few of my friends have asked "where do you meet these people?" Seriously, right? I didn't even realize such immoral souls existed in this world. Coincidentally, I was introduced to them by a former friend, who is a pedophile (a 40-year old man who historically dates 17 year-olds, and has not yet broken that unresolved pattern). They all feed and support each other's addictions, they accept and encourage each sin as normal and healthy behavior, and I am ostracized for not supporting it. That's fine, I don't need that kind of dirty energy in my life. Honestly, these are NOT quality people for me to be spending my time around/with/on. But, strangely enough, they are Catholic, and I've always wanted to learn more about Catholicism, so this has been a great opportunity. NOT. They are Lost Angels. Skipping right past Pergatory and heading straight to Hell in a handbasket. Burn baby burn!

I've had a few other friends get mixed up in this mess, a few guys (Catholics also, ironically) who basically helped me uncover a lot of this information about these lost souls. Team Hostile and their friends opened their Facebook pages up to the public eye, at which point their immoral lifestyles were revealed publicly. Then they got upset when their naivete regarding leaving the information exposed was brought to their attention. They of course blamed their idiocy on my friends and I, deleted all of us from their Facebook accounts, and blocked a few of us. A few of the team (the gambling/drug addict and the ex-con) referred to my male friends as "girls", and other ridiculous claims. Again, they are on drugs, causing paranoia and delusions of grandeur, and these guys are basically coming out with their bisexuality by referring to men as women, and some of the other things they post on various websites. The whole thing is just bizarre, regardless of whether they delete my friends and I, they are the ones who still have to live with themselves, and rot in their filth. Of course, the individuals who threatened me have been reported to the Police, so I definitely did the right thing in detaching myself from them in this way. Drugs are illegal in the United States. But of course, these people are in Arizona, which seems to currently be burning down by wildfires. Natural disasters: random coincidence or a signal from "Mother Nature" or "Father God"? (see my last blog). Arizona's normally uncomfortable above-100 temperatures already makes it the closest place to Hell on earth, add to that all the socially-accepted debauchery prominent throughout the dull dreary state.

I am blessed to live in San Diego, known as America's Finest City. We keep it classy, people are real and down-to-earth, and we generally have no time for the superficiality of the Lost Angels from neighboring LA or Arizona. Not to say this fine city does not contain sinners, we have quite a few! All human beings are inherently good, but with the fall of Adam and Eve, sin is forever present in each individual. I'm just saying that, although I've had my share of drama in San Diego over the years, nothing tops the cake quite like Team Hostile with their beyond-human levels of debauchery. San Diego does have a big homosexual population. I recall a few years ago when we had our own wildfires causing severe devastation throughout the county, just after a bill was passed favoring homosexuality. I immediately saw it as God's Wrath upon the people for their liberalism in support of homosexual acts, although many residents did not see it as that (other people's homes were destroyed besides left-voters or gays). I just think that all God needs to do is exhale and a tornado can uproot trees. God judges the heart - each individual is ultimately responsible for his or her own soul, and his or her own Karma based on their conduct. This can indeed extend to others in their close circle or community.

I do realize drug abuse (illegal or pharmaceutical) is prominent in San Diego as well as in LA and Arizona. Because San Diego is close to Mexico, we have quite a bit of activity and trafficking here, and always have. Regardless of that I've come to accept Mexican culture as part of our own, many of the city and street names are in Spanish, and we enjoy many of their regional foods. I generally date Mexicans due to their prominence around these parts. I was in Vons the other day and noticed a series of "Jesus candles" (candles inside tall glass jar with decorative Jesus iconography on the outside), a type of votive used by Catholics - displayed randomly on the shelf next to the Mexican spices. It caught me off guard (almost like "Jesus is watching you" even while in the grocery store), so I took a picture and posted it on my Facebook page. Someone posted a comment "are Mexicans and Catholics always synonymous?" My response: "Except for the Juans who aren't." Offering a prayer for the Lost Angels - only Jesus can save you!

natural disasters

My blog has gotten a lot of hits this past week. I am guessing that my readers either expected me to have been "raptured" on Sunday, or to have written about the controversial "event." Well readers, sorry for the delay. I have been busy finishing up my last week of my online World Cultures class. I'm blessed to have been graced with the inspiration to start blogging again. Between my intensely engaging class and other recent social experiments regarding highly immoral people who have been harassing and threatening me (stupid human tricks, essentially), I have transcended beyond the mundane chit-chat that many of today's Americans engage in. I remember this happening as soon as I moved back to the USA from Israel also. I was in such a different headspace with focus on world events and international culture, that I almost felt as if I could not relate to the local folks back in Arizona, and even in San Diego, my home of 14 years where I returned after living abroad. The wisdom I have attained within my lifetime has indeed influenced my groundedness through recent challenges, providing essential levels of clarity, which has somewhat esoteric, if not surreal qualities.

I do realize my blogs are often hard to read and often even harder to digest. I also realize that many of my readers do not possess any type of higher education, and I've even noticed a particular representation of young adult white-middle-class demographic, or those in the immoral lifestyle bracket - who tend to "make fun of" or misinterpret/re-hash much of what I have to say, and even go as far as taking it out of context. To this I can't relate, nor do I have sympathy when people are that blatantly stupid. You can always ask me questions directly, I am reach-able. Overall, I do try to expand on each of my thoughts, as thoughts become things - real and apparent, often manifesting in tangible ways within our lives. The Universe suggests we hold respect for ALL other living beings, in our presence, or within our reach (which if transcendence applies, projected energies of fellow beings are also included in this). Again, perhaps too much to chew for the simple cud-chewing cattle of suburbia. I do try my best with them, but I cannot continue to coddle them, or to the other extreme, use water-boarding techniques! I must try to accept them, bear with them, stay positive regardless of their negativity, but let it out (as to not hold my thoughts inside like Mr Hostile/Passive Aggressive). Hence I blog about my thoughts, my experiences, my thoughts regarding my experiences, and my experiences regarding my thoughts. Yes, indeed! Today I will touch on the Rapture, and on Natural Disasters. Are they related at all? How do they relate to the Divine, spiritual energy, or the Creator himself?

Throughout these past few weeks, the midwest and southern regions of the United States have endured the deadliest storms of this type since the 1940s. Hundreds have died, at least 700 injured, and nearly 1500 unaccounted for, in the Missouri area alone. One of my students was late for her presentation last night, because in her area of the country (Wyoming), her neighborhood was evacuated due to flooding. I had to accommodate her even though she arrived after all the other students had presented, and some had already left. Another student arrived late, supposedly because "it was his birthday". When he gave his presentation, he appeared less serious, as if perhaps he had been drinking before arriving to class. I had absolutely zero tolerance for him, although I had to try and pretend I did. I had the utmost respect for the woman who had survived the natural disaster in her city. I will admit that with my professional role as an instructor of many subjects at many levels, I have developed a high level of tolerance and despite my frequent ambivalence regarding challenging students. I can honestly say that I generally apply the same principles to non-work-related relationships, whenever possible, this is just my modus operandi. I TRY to keep an open mind and remain objective to them, giving people the benefit of the doubt IN MOST CASES. Unless of course they blatantly disrespect me, like a man referred to in a previous blog as DBWB (douchebag with baby) who I do not know personally. I've blogged about him before, hiding behind his tiny precious baby, all the while spewing out pea soup of his own. Ugliness and its ramifications for natural disaster. So I asked him the other day: "you dish it out, but can you TAKE IT?" I returned to him some of his regurgitated pea soup. I need to focus on TRUTH and REALITY, and put it out on the table with your lunch. So now back to the weather...

Last night, there were 14 tornado warnings in effect. I have never been to the region of the US where these extreme storms are occurring, but have traveled around the US pretty extensively. If you haven't followed these storms, considerable footage is circulating on the internet right now, by amateur videographers and stormchasers alike, such as on holytornado.com. What causes such natural disasters? Are they controlled by the Divine Hand of God, or the WRATH of God? Or are they simply mere *random* occurrences of nature? You may have heard phrases like "mother nature's stern warnings" or "don't piss off mother nature". If you don't believe in God as Creator of the Universe, then these more "earthly myths" might apply to you. Whatever your belief, do you not see the Hand of some Divine force? This is clearly not the work of humans. How is each powerful funnel formed and how is it ultimately so powerful to uproot trees, destroy buildings, pull people from cars, and take people/objects up into the sky - with no mercy upon landing - IF they land in one piece. Mother Nature (aka Father God) has NO MERCY. Similarly there has been considerable flooding in the central states in recent weeks, and of course you know about the recent Earthquake in Japan, and resulting tsunamis upon the Pacific Ocean to coastal cities. Recent extreme weather "happenings" have peaked the curiosity of critics and believers alike - could we be nearing "the End of the World"?

In my last blog regarding the Middle East "peace process", I mentioned that any Nation which intentionally turned its back on Israel (i.e. turn its back on God) would not be spared, and would be destroyed. These *natural catastrophes* began to occur right around the time B. Hussein began the "peace treaty" talks with Netanyahu. Other than Hurricane Katrina (the Gulf oil spill, and 911 which were essentially man-made disasters), and a few earthquakes off the coast of California, the US has never seen such widespread devastation, throughout the entire country. So, is this a mere *coincidence* that God is essentially "destroying" large areas of the United States right now, in the wake of the Middle East Peace process? No. This is a wake-up call, and AMERICA NEEDS TO WAKE UP. Our President has attempted to take on the role of God, and try to "control" what goes on in God's Holy Land. Well, this IS prophesied, in the Bible. From the time the "peace treaty" is signed, the 7 year Tribulation as a countdown to "the End of the World" will begin. In the end times there will be wars and rumors of wars, many more natural disasters than the world has ever known, and of course, widespread debauchery and immoral lifestyles, not to mention idolatry. People's hearts will have turned from God onto self, and even doing harm to others. The "Rapture" will occur before the end of the Tribulation, but "no man knows the day or the hour" -Matthew 24:36-37. Get your heart right with God ASAP.

In the Biblical account of the Great Flood, God instructed Noah to build an ark, and take with him 2 of every living creature, to spare them from the upcoming flood which would cover the earth. Many people think of Noah's Ark as a "children's story", as the Bible is often referred to as "just stories", not applicable to our modern-day lives. But in this account, God decided he was going to destroy all of the evil in the world, washing everyone and everything away and just starting over with the few deemed as heirs to be the lone survivors on the boat. The reason for this flood was that the people had become way too immoral to even be considered human anymore - completely cracked-out and just blatantly belligerent. Sounds like a few folks I've mentioned on my blog, though this is only a sample of a few individuals, who live in a very small speck of the planet. The world contains many such ignorant souls, so this can indeed be viewed on a larger scale. Their immoral lifestyles, hostile treatment of others, and blatant disrespect of God can be compared to the people at the time of Noah before the Great Flood, or many the people living in America currently. As I mentioned on my last blog, one of the Team Hostile members had a *random* bout with Karma, as a direct result of his hostility. But immoral people continue to cry: "why do bad things happen to good people?" Define "good" - are they really?

If the Great Flood was somehow "just a story", it should serve as an illustration to us: continue in your immoral ways, lewd conduct, inappropriate behaviors, disrespectful treatment of other humans, worship of idols or "other gods", sexual sins, and extreme debauchery - and you will be DESTROYED by the Wrath of God (or the forces of nature). Isn't this almost like the premise of "Hell" (for those that believe in the afterlife)? Well what about "Pergatory", since many so-called "Catholic" or "religious" people indeed won't make the cut for the Celestial City in the Clouds? After the Karmic Episode mentioned on my last blog, a "Catholic" (one of the people involved in said incident) told me that he didn't believe in The Universe - referring to the Universal Laws of Karma. Which if that were the case, he would not be STANDING IN IT. Isn't the Earth itself be a part of the Universe? What about inclement weather upon that very Earth? Are such natural phenomena NOT part of the Universe, thus NOT fair-game for "Mother Nature" or "Father God" to influence with the simple touch of a finger? In fact God would not even have to lift a finger, He could simply exhale and a volcano could erupt. You are just ONE PERSON, but your own life, limbs, home, city, or state could easily be destroyed by that exhale as well. Don't hate - appreciate - every breath you take. God judges the HEART.

Well, of course if you don't believe in God or the Universe (the guy I mentioned uses Illegal Drugs by the way, I just like to point out how utterly foolish his statements ultimately sound, once unpacked). What he actually said was "my god does not believe in karma", with a small "g", leading me to believe that we were not talking about the same God, not the God of the Bible (who created the Universe) obviously. Besides for him to "know" what this so-called "god" of his "believes" would suggest he was wearing the actual monkey suit of this "deity" or "demon". There are many "gods". Worship of idols is one of the greatest sins of Biblical times. The first Commandment when God imparted the 10 Commandments to Moses in Sinai: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" -Exodus 20. This applied to both "graven images" as well as ANYTHING (another "deity", material possessions, another mortal person, a lifestyle choice) that comes between you and God. This man often speaks on others' behalf, so it was no surprise for me to hear him speaking on behalf of "his god" as if he had the authority to do so. This actually convinced my family and friends that the guy is a delusional nut job (as most good drug users are). I couldn't help but to reply to he and his girlfriend with similar regurgitated pea-soup cud as well. Eat it up, posse!

As for the Rapture, "no man knows the day or the hour". This was perhaps the most essential little piece of information which was left out of the Rapture theory forecast by Harold Camping. Although many of his scriptural references were sound, he did not bring it all together. Just like many people in this world know "a lot of stuff", but without that connection, the simple missing puzzle pieces, words, phrases, or ideas - they cannot deliberate a solid theory. Likewise no man can "become" God or attempt to 1-up God somehow, or he will somehow be punished or destroyed. The same principle can apply to any situation, really. Understanding often comes after ALL the pieces of the puzzle are revealed and fall into place. A member of "Team Hostile" recently contacted me, and after providing a series of true statements and facts to them, said "we don't believe you, we think you are lying". Well, all I can do is provide facts, but if you leave your heart and mind closed, nothing can get in, including truth and revelation. The Bible itself is a FREE publication, accessible on the internet and free phone apps as well, but do people read it? How to understand if not by study? You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Like a child putting his hands over his ears and "la la la la, I don't hear you!" All I can recommend is: keep listening, thinking, asking questions, and seeking the Truth. Only the Truth will set you free from your disbelief, from your confusion.

God is a just God. But He brings people and situations to Justice in His own way, in His own time, by His own hand. Any man who puts himself before God, whether regarding Israel's independence, whether in a lifestyle of immorality, or in behaving with hostility or disrespect towards another human, God will judge them and deal with them accordingly. A Nation, a Team, or an individual. The Forces of the Universe (Mother Nature, etc) have no mercy. So think about this before you try to play "god". Human life is precious. We must be thankful for every breath, for all our working limbs, for life itself. We must continue to treat others with respect, especially if they are struggling or suffering in some way, physically or amidst their circumstances (you may not even know their background, or their current circumstance, so don't judge based on your ignorance). My heart goes out to the tornado and flood victims in the United States, but my heart remains turned towards God, as an American-born citizen, I stand for Israel as the the Holy Land of the Jews - even if the government of my country does not. Stand for something, or you will fall for anything. Don't be an ignorant cud-chewing cow and follow the pack, even if you can't see the forest for the trees. When the trees fall, you will be left alone in the vast wilderness of death and despair. And you WILL be left behind.

the peace process

This week's Scorpio Full Moon has certainly brought about the intensity for which it stands. A full moon is like a spotlight, shining down to help bring healing and resolution. "This Scorpio Full Moon is all about opening the heart and allowing the dark emotions to rise to the light of day and find the security and serenity offered" in that solace -for those who choose Love and Light for their lives. So how could I not blog about it? Well, lets begin by considering my recent titles "religious zealot" (for my faith in God and broad understanding of other religions), a "weirdo" (for believing in the moon and stars which God created, i.e. Astrology), and "many levels of crazy" (for my transcendent levels of depth beyond surface perception, and inclination to push the envelope at times). To the casual reader, perhaps confusing or overwhelming, but for those who know me personally, that's just Scorpio Lisa, in full intensity.

The week began on an intense note for the international community with the violent clashes in Israel, on 3 borders. Coincidentally on Sunday, I went to a pro-Israel rally/festival at Mission Bay in San Diego. It was mainly held to create awareness about Israel, and many of the Jewish organizations in the area were represented. Of course most of you know I lived in Israel for about a year, while working on my Masters in Middle East Studies. In fact the initial purpose of this blog was to document my travels, but since my return has turned into a collection of writings, political, sociological, philosophical, and religious in nature. Anyway when I got to the rally, there was quite a bit of security all around, I felt like I was being closely examined by a few of them. I was thinking, come on folks, don't I look Jewish to you? Well I got a little refresher on my Hebrew while I was there, and signed up to be involved with a few pro-Israel activist groups (as if I didn't already have a target on my back) look forward to some upcoming posts on that! Since I left Israel I have not done too much with my Middle East knowledge, my languages learned while over there, or my degree in general (I really only use my 1st MA, Communication). I recently dated a guy who practiced Israeli martial art Krav Maga, although I never got to see him do it because he was essentially paying for the classes but not going... but I digress. The reason for the heightened security at the rally was because Sunday marked Israel's 63rd anniversary of becoming a state in 1968, thus the anniversary of the Nakba. I was later informed that violent clashes had been erupting all day, by the Palestinians upon Israeli territory and inhabitants thereof.

The other day, President B. Hussein Obama declared publicly that he would be working towards a 2-state solution for Israel and the Palestinians, in the wake of the Scorpio Full Moon chaos over there. This is certainly not the first time a US President has declared such, in fact the Middle East Peace Process has been going on since the British first inhabited the land in 1917. But it is the first time since he was elected that - the Kenyan-born, Muslim-raised, somehow-elected US President - has even publicly considered "going there" since he's been in office. I vividly remember one of his campaign speeches during which time he was running against Hillary Clinton (his now Secretary of State, yes I still want her job) that he addressed this topic, and rambled on and on for what seemed like a half hour about his opinion on Israeli-Palestinian peace process and 2-state solution - a topic which was obvious he knew ZERO about! I'm sure he's been debriefed since that time, probably by his former Chief-of-Staff, the Jewish Rahm Emanuel (who I have a love-hate relationship with and wish he would have stuck around, but again, I digress) per his extensive international expertise. Either way, the majority of the American public has no clue about this region or the reasons why a 2-state solution is not feasible, primarily because they have no first-hand knowledge of the region, the people, the culture, or the inherent reality conceived only by living there and studying it while immersed in the culture. Do I understand it all? You betcha. After all, that's why I moved to Israel and obtained the degree that I did. And its in my blood, being of Jewish descent.

In regards to a 2-state solution (i.e. peaceful coexistence among parties), I am seeing a parallel in my own life, especially this week with the Scorpio Full Moon's amazing "spotlight" energy. You know what they say "NEVER cross a Scorpio", so who in their right mind would do that anyway, but under a Scorpio Full Moon, look out! Scorpio represents intensity, and this full moon's energy proved that to be the case indeed. As I mentioned in a recent blog, a group of individuals headed by a hostile ex, launched a hate-speech campaign against me on a private Facebook page (public to only about 200 people, mostly unknown to me personally anyway). A few of them had been incredibly hostile to me, to the point that I have never experienced such hostility upon me directly in my entire lifetime. These people were vulgar, belittling, condescending, mean, and spiteful. They have yet to display the backbone necessary to have a conversation with me directly regarding the very issues they question (ill-founded false accusations, and denial of medically-proven facts, primarily), ignore, avoid, or block me when I extend my hand to them, yet they continue to go behind my back, backstab me, and encourage others (whom I don't know) to do the same. I learned of all the backstabbing through a mutual friend, literally the next day after I had stated my peace to the leader of this warring faction.

Anyway, in my unwavering attempts to make peace with this warring faction (we'll call them "Team Hostile"), I continue to extend my hand in friendship, send them positive thoughts, notes of encouragement and love, kindness and forgiveness, and offers for reconciliation. I pray and meditate on the situation daily, but I keep thinking, if I was supposed to have closure, I would have got it by now, so what to do? If I have released this to God, and trust the Universe that they will either come around and accept my friendship and love, or that they will just basically be left at the mercy of God's Divine Hand, I no longer have a hand in the matter. From that point, whatever happens is left to God, the Universe, Karma. God is a just God and judges the heart, but if the heart remains hardened, and only negative energy and hateful speech continue to spew forth, God has no choice but to spew them out of His mouth. Regardless of my positivity, which it takes much less energy to maintain than negativity. Well, I have shared my beliefs in God, Jesus, Astrology, and the Laws of Karma with them, but again, no takers, no responses, like talking to a wall. I can only speculate that in their continued avoidance of ME, their fire of anger and ill-will is still burning and churning like a big boiling cesspool of unresolved angst. Whatever the state of their hearts actually is (I don't know because I they do not talk to me), as human beings on this earth they are well aware of the Laws of Karma, and they themselves have been known to quote the Golden Rule (although they clearly do not practice it). Keep in mind I have no control over either of these Universal Truths, I am just Love and Light, and will continue to be.

The other day, under the Scorpio Full Moon, I decided to lay all my thoughts out to this ex in an email, just to release the situation again. I had done this a few weeks ago in the form of a formal written letter delivered to the person directly, but had not heard back, so I wanted to follow up and re-iterate a few things. Mainly about the condition of his heart, my concerns regarding some of his lifestyle choices (such as alcohol addiction/sexual promiscuity), and vices (such as pornography addiction) which hold him back from being able to peacefully coexist with a woman who cares about his HEART. I sent his sister an email addressing my primary concerns as well. Of course, coexistence is key among any people in any culture or community, or on the planet as a whole, so stating my position was crucial for any type of peace process to begin. We have seen issues between Israelis and Palestinians for years, but both sides' resistance to change has created tension, social, political, as well as spiritual.

I had suggested blogging as a great outlet for Mr Hostile (of course as long as it is not on his private, members only porn site where only porn stars who could care less can read it) but although he said he was going to, he hasn't yet that I know of. But I can still feel the energy he projects, which is pretty intense, its actually kind of scary for me, after having felt his love and now the dark contrast. One of my doctors suggested I "report" this guy, but I realized this is a totally different level than domestic abuse or harassment or something. Its a heart and mind issue, his closed heart and negative attitude have created negative energy for everyone around him, who are all subject to his ill-founded nonsense and then in turn become negative in joining him (again people I have never met), defensive (blocking me), avoidance or even afraid to reply (as if I am going to hurt them) and seemingly paranoid (delusions of grandeur, stuff blown all out of proportion) based on some of the stuff I've read. People have accused me of judging or slamming THEM, when in reality, I am the one being slammed, and God knows that because HE alone is the Judge. The Judge of the Heart, who controls the Universe.

Literally the next day after I sent him this open-hearted letter (revealing all Scorpio intensity of the Full Moon's Energy), the Universe decided it was time to send a little Karmic payback to him and his Team Hostile. Somebody else dear to his circle actually took one for The Team. As I mentioned, all along I have been extending my hand to them in friendship, support, love, and good will gestures, including providing help and information regarding some things related to health. That day one of the Team members was moving, and her dad extended his hand in love, to help and support her with her move. In doing so, somehow *randomly* the car door slammed shut on his finger, completely amputating part of his finger off, and he had to be rushed to the emergency room! When I received word of this incident, I almost could not believe what I heard, and have been in an utter state of shock since that time, I've actually been really shaken up about it. My prayers go out to her and her family, and was a real shame that her dad had to suffer the brunt of her boyfriend's (my ex's best friend) negative ju-ju and unrelentless slamming hostility of me. Innocent bystanders who mean well continue to get hurt by the fallout of this. Point is there shouldn't still BE a fallout, but the Universe promises that there WILL be until they can make peace with me. Well I'm in!

Nothing happens *randomly*, so we can certainly see a clear connection to the unrelentless power of Karma in this situation. You could say God has a sense of humor per the irony of it all, although His wrath is certainly *no laughing matter*, and He won't be mocked, nor will His children. Just as I have had my hand "slammed" or slapped away endlessly by Team Hostile, for the father of one of them to have the same thing happen to him, only NOT figuratively, is a sure sign that there are forces greater than ourselves at work in our lives and controlling it all. They call me "crazy" for believing in the truths of the cosmos, but if this is not as black-and-white as it gets, I wonder what ill will befall them next? Obviously I did not cause or create this *random* situation with the car door slamming on his hand, but all of Team Hostile's hostile energy towards me DID (cause-effect law of Karma). I always tell them "remember the Golden Rule" in how you live your life, and "do unto others as you'd want done to you", but in a once-removed situation, where I was not geographically anywhere near them, we definitely need to credit this one on the Universe. Team Hostile=0, Universe=1. Her dad took one for the Team indeed. Will they learn their lesson? The only way I'll know is if they release their grudges against me and make amends. Then we can all truly have peace.

I was truly totally shocked by this news at first, but now I realize this is likely *only the first of several* incidents that will occur in their lives under the current cosmic energy. As long as they continue to have hardened hearts, closed from receiving God's love, my love, my friendship, my peace offering (wholeness of heart and hand extended), they will not have true peace. This is not any kind of ultimatum set by ME personally, nor can I judge them for their actions, NOR DO I - I simply KNOW they are wrong, because what they do violates the basic tenets of humankind. This is just point-blank the way the Universe works, per the Laws of Karma, which I did not create, and similarly I have no control over their Karma (other than opting to extend my hand, I have done my part). God is a Just God, but a Vengeful God, especially when someone blatantly harms one of His own. I also know that if somehow they decide move their target off me and onto someone else, perhaps another innocent bystander who means well (like they did to one of my guy friends a few weeks ago and attempted to do to my best friend) then they will continue to have unfortunate situations occur in their lives, and perhaps doubly so by that token. Karma can be a bitch, but only if you treat her like one! .

The Jews have been persecuted for years. Persecuted for their faith, persecuted for inhabiting the land which is rightfully theirs and has always been, persecuted for their success on this earth, in Israel and to the ends of the map. This is because the Jews are God's chosen people, they are His own, descendants of Abraham under the Covenant. The Arabs think they are, but their race was born of Isaac, Abraham's illegitimate child from which time he impregnated an Egyptian maidservant. History and politics are complex, especially in Israel, but let this be a lesson. No one can kick the Jews out of their homeland, not even B. Hussein with his wanna-be peace treaty. They say "peace peace" but there is not peace. True peace only comes from God, and from submitting to His will, placing Him as sovereign. The Bible indicates that anyone who denies God or denies Israel as the Jews homeland will be cursed. The US is in for a big surprise if we turn our back on Israel. Sure coexistence among warring factions in Israel is necessary, but they get along as fine as they can now, each going about their business, as long as they treat each other with respect. I lived there, I know how it is -not what the media tells you necessarily. If everyone could just be a little nicer to each other, more open to the others, and less resistant, they can accept it for what it is - necessary peaceful coexistence. The people I met first-hand while I lived there were ok with it, it is what it is basically. But the terror groups like Hamas (and like Team Hostile) make it really hard for people to simply BE PEACE. They blow things out of proportion, basing the mere need for their conflict on lies and ill-founded precedence.

Is it possible for these people to find the peace they seek? Yes, but only if they seek God first. If not for God's Peace, there can never be true peace, in this peace process, or for eternity. This applies to conflicts among warring factions and individuals alike. Our time on this earth is short, indeed too short to hold grudges, but as long as we do, we will have conflict (brought upon by the choice to maintain the negativity), as the energy of the Universe, Laws of Karma, and Wrath of God will dictate - and will show no mercy. You saw this with the example of the man who simply tried to extend his hand in love, but had it slammed per Team Hostile's hostility towards others who extend love. Keep it up kids, and keep reaping your Karma. You reap what you sow, and what you do will be done to you, ten-thousand fold, if even in an indirect manner. We hold these universal truths to be self-evident, thus there is no arguing with them. Forgiveness, reconciliation, and a shared understanding is what I seek, in our peace process. The Golden Rule is the only way to live - lest we endure payback from the Universe, beyond the traditional Nakba.

confessions on a dance floor

"Confessions on a Dance Floor", perhaps my favorite album by Madonna, controversial yet wildly successful international pop icon. While I have been a professional dancer, choreographer, and dance instructor for years, like Madonna, I am no stranger to controversy. In the 1980's Madonna's heavy religious themes juxtaposed her suggestive promiscuity, thus may critics jumped on the defense against her. How risque, how dare she push the envelope in such a manner? How will this influence the millions of young women who look up to such a pop icon? Well her music has certainly evolved over the years, as has she, in her own personal, professional, creative, and spiritual journey. I believe she started as Catholic, then Jewish, and now? She's still just mainly doing what she does best, and that's what matters most. She is indeed a successful woman to be respected.

One of my favorite TV shows is "Dancing with the Stars", in which a "star" (actor, athlete, or other celebrity) is paired up with a professional dancer to teach them how to dance, perform, and compete in front of a live audience, and millions of viewers at home (who then cast votes electronically, to seal their fate). I have been teaching dance classes and performing for years, and I find this show to be wildly entertaining, enriching, and valuable for anyone who has ever worked in the performing arts. This season's cast is laden with controversial contestants, including a sex-talk-radio DJ host (who unfortunately got voted off in week 1), 2 Playboy models, a liberal talk show host, and always graced with the presence of flamboyant professional dancers and judges. The inherent issues such a spectacle creates is nothing new to myself personally, having worked in the dance performance industry, the professional design industry, taught at art schools, and also in the fitness industry. It is what it is, although I don't necessarily agree with these lifestyles - it certainly makes for great entertainment, for any average viewer.

I was not familiar with her before this season, but contestant Kendra Wilkinson was a once a stripper, and part of Hugh Heffner's crew, and I believe upon her involvement with DWTS introduced Karina Smirnoff to Playboy, as she has recently posed in the popular publication as well. When I learned of Karina's nude modeling in Playboy, I was a bit surprised, as I had a little higher level of respect for her. However I realize many people have differing views on Playboy, and on pornography in general - is it "art" or an "appreciation" for women's bodies, or is it demoralizing and raunchy? I personally feel it is degrading to women. While of course I do not know Karina personally, she is one of my favorite pros on the show. A good friend with whom I watch the show can't stop commenting "I have seen ALL of Karina now, and I wish I hadn't, because that's all I can think about when she is dancing with Ralph!". Although many of the costumes are quite revealing, there is a fine line between flashing some skin and sacrificing one's integrity as a woman. As a relatively attractive successful female performer myself, many fans and friends at times have suggested I become a stripper, because of my natural gravitation to the limelight, my Scorpio sensuality, and skill in dance (the pole being no exception), and the monetary compensation it would provide for my life. But I have indeed maintained my moral backbone over the years and not subjected myself to the inherent perils of the pornographic lifestyle. I have heard stories of women who become strippers and porn stars, becoming hooked on drugs, contracting and transmitting a plethora of STDs among other adherents of this paradigm. Who would purposely invite any of that upon themselves?

I recently dated a guy who had his own pornography website. Believe it or not, this was not Red Flag #1, because I did not find out about it until after we had broken up, even though I knew he was formerly employed at a porn billing company so I should not have been surprised. If I had to list his immediate Red Flags, they would have probably been: lack of desire to go out due to gravitation towards staying home and watching movies and TV every night, lack of monetary funds to do so, unbearably messy apartment, unsanitary bathroom, snoring, hot temper, continual insistence on telling me what to do or ordering me around, inability to have a cohesive conversation -as his attention was always on TV or random people in the bar instead of me, no college education, incredible substance abuse problem, frequently said things which he later didn't remember saying, denial of all of the above, and overall disrespect for women, myself primarily. Needless to say, I am no longer with the guy. I think I thought he had a little more to offer initially, but soon figured out there was just a few sandwiches missing from his picnic basket. My curiosity peaked however, and I've since discovered many more issues especially regarding his (in)ability to communicate openly and honestly with women. He grew up with older sisters, one of whom ironically insists on speaking on his behalf. You'd think that the women in his life who are positive influences (like sisters and mother) would help nurture, teach, and encourage him regarding relationships with women, but regardless of upbringing and female influence, not all men possess the same integrity or convictions about important life issues.

In a recent email to his sister, I asked her what she thought of his pornography addiction. Rather than looking more closely at this as a moral values issue (they are supposedly Catholic, Virgin Mary is holy Madonna), she accused me of "harassing him" because I discovered his website (via a simple Google search for his name and email address) and then brought it to his and her attention. I also asked her how she felt about certain porn stars who were among his Facebook friends, as well as his relationship with another woman who works in the pornography industry who is a personal friend of his. To which his sister exclaimed to him, "how does she know who your Facebook friends are, I thought you blocked her from your page? Block her, and change your passwords - I command you!" In her overprotectiveness of her brother and attempting to maintain high standards for his dating life (I was certainly never good enough for him, God knows who else she's disapproved of) she totally missed the point of what I was asking her: "are you ok with his porn addiction? Do you know these individuals whom he calls *friends*, and do you believe they are wise choices for his companionship?"

I felt like she was protecting him, trying to shield him from what she perceived to be unhealthy for him (i.e. ME), all the while he had actually chosen to stick with the route most degrading and disrespectful to "real life" women, by choosing the porn over me. He had basically closed himself off, deleted and blocked people on Facebook (myself and some of my friends), and instructed his friends and family to do the same. He had essentially isolated himself regarding this issue, to keep his addictions private, or at least push me as far as possible away, because I had become fully aware of some of his more unhealthy tendencies. Protect thyself, lest anyone discovers your secret addictions! I wonder if his sister is fully aware of his activity in this realm, or if she thinks she is helping him by encouraging him to stay in it and in turn push me away, even as a friend who cares about him. Perhaps I'll never know, but perhaps I am in a better place having moved on from him. Although our secrets are safe with God, and He forgives us of our deepest darkest sins, Catholics believe they must practice admission of guilt in a semi-formal "Confession" in front of a Priest. So what's done in darkness will eventually come to light. Unless of course, we keep these undisclosed desires suppressed.

Recently, actor Charlie Sheen was caught red-handed in his debauchery: heavy cocaine addiction, running a porn ring, and a lot of high-strung euphoria, which would be perceived as cream-of-the crop by anyone in this lifestyle. He was running 2 porn houses down the street from each other, basically mansions for the porn stars to go and party, and film their porn. I am not clear as to what the charges were against Mister Sheen, or if the porn houses are still open for STD exchange, but his career has certainly suffered as a result when his hit TV show was pulled from the air in the wake of all the controversy. Also in the news, upon searching through Osama Bin Laden's personal belongings after his removal from our planet, it was discovered that he had his own extensive porn collection. For a Muslim, this sin transcends far beyond that of a non-religious man or proponent of any other faith (as we can choose to go to God, confess our sins, and be forgiven). Muslims believe that once they reach Janna (heaven) they will have 40 virgins (or Madonnas) awaiting for their pleasure.

It is probably unfair to isolate any one instance of sexual addiction, as any red-blooded man should naturally have a desire for women's bodies. Its just a matter of respecting the woman as a fellow human being, understanding and being sensitive to her mind, spirit, soul, feelings, and emotions, not just her beautiful body. Last night while out dancing at a Salsa club, a man approached my friend and I and asked us the following question. "Would you rather have a guy who can cook, or a guy who can dance?" My friend became giddy, and blurted out "cook!" but before she could answer fully, I glared at the man and stated firmly, "DUH, DANCE." They both looked at me in amazement, jaws dropped. I proceeded to explain rather simply, "its about the connection between your mind and your body. If a man can't connect, he can't respect". You see, for women, respect is all we require, but we have a mind, spirit, soul, feelings, and emotions in addition to our beautiful bodies - all of which can be fragile at times. But it takes two to Tango, so please be careful to not step on our toes, or you will get voted off the dancefloor and sent home! Keep up the with the tempo of the music, and tune in to your partner on all levels. Try to let go of unhealthy habits or secret tendencies that might hold you back from truly WINNING, as a competitor on the dancefloor of love and life.

Interpretive Art

You've heard it said, "there are 2 sides to every coin", or to every story - perhaps sometimes even 3 or 4 sides, or interpretations of something. Interpretation is a concept which is certainly prominent in critique of art, but what about in critique of people? In my last blog, I mentioned the concept of perception, and how when critiquing art, some students may provide a different assessment of the piece when describing it, or lack the depth of critical thinking often necessary to review a piece. In the class I am currently teaching, we have been studying art of the Renaissance, an era in which many artists were commissioned to paint inside churches and other standalone pieces (reliefs, paintings, sculpture, etc). The artists were often paid to provide significant pieces containing depth of meaning which were often interpreted in many different ways, even by the patrons themselves. The art of the Renaissance was largely based on themes both religious and political, and borrowed from themes of previous eras such as the Greco-Roman cultures - juxtaposing idealism, humanism, myth, and perfection. The Greeks portrayed finely-chiseled bodies, with muscular and skeletal strength displayed as the human "ideal". The artists of the Renaissance then took this concept and added to it, incorporating elements of perspective (2D vs 3D, as well as interpretive) and realism to each human figure.

It seems silly to think of a human being as "perfect", because our roots in the Garden of Eden (which is in modern-day Iraq btw) set forth the evolution of our own demise. Humans are imperfect beings, although God our Creator Himself is perfect, and creates each of us in His image (or in his own special way), under a particular set of stars, at a particular time, with a unique essence breathed into each of us. Regardless, humans often hold an ideal image of what another human should be, an idealized version of a mate, a family member, a family member's mate, a friend, a colleague, an acquaintance, or even an enemy. If we as imperfect beings do not match that ideal (or fantasy) held by the other imperfect beings, we are often criticized and critiqued beyond that which should be accepted in any society or era. I have noticed this occurs quite a bit more in American society than many other countries I have lived in or visited, and surprisingly occurs moreso among Catholics than say Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, or even Christians (the religion which has provided a springboard for the ritualistic traditions of Catholicism). While I study/practice a variety of religions and schools of thought, I am able to thus delineate the various nuances exhibited by proponents of each.

As I mentioned in my last blog, as with the example of the Hot Pink girl, some people's perception is just off. The concept of finger-pointing is especially prominent among proponents of the Catholic faith, because of the heavy guilt factor instilled into them. They have envisioned themselves as perfect, exalted beings, thus nobody can hold a candle to their flaws. They have to go to "confession" in front of a priest, behind closed doors, to confess their wrongdoings. Yet publicly they pride themselves in putting others down in order to elevate themselves above others, even if it means altering facts, creating false pretense, taking information out of context, basing their reality on skewed tangents of self-generated confusion, or nitpicking on a detail which was meant to be a flaw (yes, Hot Pink, we all have them -even "perfect" you with all your own inherent contradictions). Jesus the Master Teacher stated in Matthew 7:4, "How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?". However many individuals who practice the traditions of Catholicism (or claim to be Catholic) don't spend the time studying and applying the scriptures of God's Holy Word. Most of what they chant in Mass is in Latin, as if they are speaking gibberish (particularly for those who don't speak Latin normally), therefore unable to apply this text as truth in their own lives. Some do choose a path of moral upstanding in society, and even explore their spirituality in conjunction with tradition of the text.

Now back to the Renaissance. Let's take Leonardo da Vinci's famous masterpiece painting, the Mona Lisa, as an example. In this era, paintings were often commissioned by church officials, such as the Pope. While the commissioner of the painting may have one interpretation of the painting, a random viewer might have another, an art student yet another, the artist of course another, and perhaps even the subject of the painting (as in this case a portrait) a different perspective on her own life than her myriad of critics might speculate. A few weeks ago in class, the students were instructed to provide a critique on a particular piece of artwork, based on the culture and context in which the piece was created. What were the artists thinking when they created this art? Most renowned works of art have been critiqued endlessly throughout time.

In viewing the Mona Lisa, one student in my class asked "is that a woman or a man?" The subject seems somewhat asexual. Some viewers have speculated the Mona Lisa is Leonardo's sister, some say his lover, while others may say she was a distraught woman because of the seemingly expressionless look on her face lending to the complexity within. A Catholic priest who is a pedophile might speculate that the Mona Lisa is a lesbian (due perhaps to his own unresolved sexual issues). Of course, how would we know for sure unless we ask the artist Leonardo directly, or the woman in the painting herself? Perhaps she will tell you that she is a single mother, who had a child out of wedlock, before putting herself through college (so she could attempt to learn to read and write in complete coherent sentences). Or what if she cannot respond directly, due to temporal-spatial restrictions, or chooses not to, due to communication barriers? We can ask other people who might know her, or others who have looked at this painting of her, but if they do not know the artist or subject themselves, we would be basing our own evaluation on someone else's opinion (which may or may not be positive, or even true!). Thus we are often left to mere speculation, and the inner workings of the mind can sometimes produce quite a riot.

Now in the critique of other people living in our current era, do we have the option of interacting with the person directly, or must we merely speculate as with the art of the Renaissance? Some people such as celebrities or politicians are often inaccessible, yet they are evaluated under microscopes daily, completely chastised and ridiculed, or to the other extreme, exalted above the rest of humankind. If they (or we) are the subject of public criticism or slander, but not all sites are monitored, how can this critique be controlled? If the internet was somehow policed, a lot of blogs and opinion websites would probably be taken down, including "private" Facebook pages, even those only available to a small exclusive set of 200 mere blue-collar workers, most of whom possess no higher education, and no first-hand knowledge (direct experience) with the person or idea they are ranting about. The "pseudo-public" forum that is created as a soapbox for 1-2 individuals then welcomes the other 200 "exclusive" members (only about 20 of whom -also completely uneducated and ignorant- actually opt to read and reply) thereby creating good times for morons, at someone else's expense.

Thanks to a serindipitous series of events, I was recently granted access to one such "exclusive" forum, which was basically a negative hate-speech soapbox, or critique, about me. I saw that they called me LL (which stands for "Love and Light"), but they also labeled me as a "stalker", due to my forthcoming communication style and persistent efforts to request a conversation regarding an issue which affects someone's health. A fellow health professional (we'll call her LB, my initials also) suggested I could be her BFF, which if I had the opportunity to meet her personally we would probably have a lot of commonalities to share and discuss, she seems like a really nice person who does not deserve to be subjected to such negative hostility. However her comment seemed more of a jab, as though she was actually trying to undermine my extensive expertise regarding homeopathic remedies, the fitness and wellness industry, and knowledge of chronic diseases (made fun of my medical paperwork). These critics also suggested that I "drive in diapers" (like I'm going to crap my pants upon finally meeting them in person because they will probably sit on me with their massive weight, thereby forcing something out instantaneously?) and am technologically challenged when trying to block someone's email address (gee I wonder why I needed to block them? Don't hate the player, hate the game, fool!). They called me "crazy", an "idiot", and a "nutter" -can't say I've ever heard that one before (a man I've never met but hides behind a picture of his baby, who will probably also grow up to be a disrespectful douchebag like his belittling father). Those whom I'd never met personally proceeded to advise others in the forum on how best to further their ignoring or slandering of me. If I did know these individuals personally, I would probably consider driving over to their homes or offices and leaving a beautiful boquet of flowers on their doorstep (and I bet it would still be sitting there dead a month later due to their ignorance of how to care for something so beautiful). Kill 'em with kindness, I always say. Treat others like you'd want to be treated, the Golden Rule. You know, the basic Karma 101 stuff. What do you mean you've never heard that? You living in suburbia, where only our homes, cars, and credit matter? Out on a boat at sea? Welcome to the mainland, o exclusive excitable ones. Be positive and love your life. I fail to see what in this critique of me is remotely positive.

One of the individuals responsible for the slanderous hate-speech forum against me (we'll call him Mr. Hostile -somewhat of a Passive Aggressive type) went as far as saying he wanted to start a blog about me. He has previously expressed that he does not like my behavior, and asked me to leave him alone (I should have thought to tell him the same, about 3 years ago!). I would love if he does start a blog, and if he does, I will be sure to link to it from this blog! I was pretty impressed about this (not to mention flattered) because this is an individual who generally keeps all his feelings suppressed and refuses to have direct conversations with the person whom he most harshly criticizes, behind their back. Blogging is a great outlet, it can be compared to writing a critique about a piece of fine art -especially with a theme-based blog. Whether we know the subject in the painting (such as the Mona Lisa) or we are merely studying the piece of art, we may or may not have access to the painter or creator of the art. Mr. Hostile does have direct access to me as well as to my Creator, God (the Divine Artist), but chooses to not contact either of us directly. Fear must have a root somewhere, no? On a more somber note however, a well-meaning good-natured friend deleted his own Facebook profile due in part to the excessive levels of slander written about me on Mr. Hostile's page. Another friend recently deleted his Facebook page also because he realized our virtual selves are not always necessarily our true selves. We humans as individual thinkers with free will, possess the ability to control the levels of critique we want to let in, or surround ourselves with. The ability to critique, criticize, support, praise, or think positively or negatively about someone or something, real or imagined. We are each responsible for our own Karma.

Mr. Hostile finally went on to critique this masterpiece (me) as having "many different levels of crazy". I thought this was indeed profound, as many works of art and artists throughout time have possessed multi-faceted layers of depth and interpretive qualities. A comparable masterpiece which comes to mind immediately is Michaelangelo's Sistene Chapel, a collection of detailed ceiling frescoes painted with vibrant colors, to celebrate Catholicism and belief in God during the Renaissance. The average viewer might see this deeply extensive and complex work of art with uncultured eyes and proclaim "that is crazy! What was going through this guy's mind?" as this highly regarded series of paintings covering the ceiling provide varying levels of intricate detail and complexity. Many of the master painters possessed and exhibited such complex levels of philosophical, theological and even psychological depth, that I often think that we artists are generally on a different playing field than the average little Tommy student. But these lower-level learners don't even go as far as to observe beautiful art, read descriptions of depth, or write their own critique, only quick to retort and dole out criticism without an open mind or a connection to deeper inner truth. Some have not even passed a second-grade reading comprehension level, so how can they be expected to demonstrate "the ideal"?

If Leonardo da Vinci were a virtual artist in today's world, his Mona Lisa would get added, deleted, liked, poked, and tweeted, by a myriad of critics. Would this painting have such an impact in society if the subject were wearing a Hot Pink shirt instead? If this is the ideal, why doesn't everyone fit into it? By disallowing ourselves to see the beauty in all creations, or multiple sides to every coin, its like we are leaving a beautiful boquet of flowers outside to rot.