the art of relationship

its not uncommon for us as humans to assess what works and what doesn't work in a relationship, especially when the relationship is not our own. With friends and family as a steady influence in our lives, they can show us our true selves though often candidly, and are quick to point out our mistakes. While I have not been IN a "relationship" myself for a great many years, I have spent time not only observing others in their happiness (or unhappiness) but building my own database of conventional wisdom with unconventional style. What I've picked up on the most is that the suffering endured in many relationships is not actually caused by the relationship itself, but rather the attitudes, insecurity, and expectations of the people involved. Just the other day someone told me he didn't want to get into a relationship because he wanted to spend some time enjoying the things he likes to do, and being with friends and family. While overlooking the La Jolla coast at sunset with the sun beautifully reflecting on the water, I reflected on the nuances of his statement. This perspective is absolutely ridiculous, because you should be able to FULLY enjoy your life and being with your friends and family REGARDLESS of whether you are in a relationship. If you can't, your relationship is NOT HEALTHY. Nobody has the right to keep you from the people or things you enjoy - your friends don't do this, they respect you for who you are.

As a free-spirited Scorpio, independent, creative, spiritual, yet passionate, dedicated and understanding, I have the capacity to appreciate the beauty in each relationship I encounter. While many of these traits are innate, each person must also do their part to connect with their strengths and weaknesses, in order to find balance in all aspects of life. The downfall of being a strong Scorpio is that I crave perfection which can lead to disappointment (if expectations are present), and have likewise been accused of "thinking I know everything" - whether because of my intense personality or my two Master's Degrees. This is something God has been working with me on over the years, and I am so thankful that He has continued to humble me more and more each day, until I reach the place the place He wants me to be - His perfection, his perfect peace. I can go as far as saying that He literally took me out of my comfort zone (life as I knew it) and physically put me on the other side of the world in order that I might learn some valuable lessons about life.

while i was in Greece, I took some leisure time to read "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz. It might sound cheesy, but pick up a copy and you'll see that what I'm talking about here is almost a no-brainer. I had read this book before, maybe 5 or 6 years ago thinking it would help me get over all the failed relationship attempts. After that time however I kept falling into the same patterns, like the same old crap only with different guys. About 2 years ago I decided to start practicing absinence, in correlation with my renewed faith and dedication to God, and of course in response to repeatedly failed relationship attempts. Since this time I have been able to focus on myself as an individual, reflecting on many areas of my life and how to improve them through a renewed thankful and positive attitude towards nearly everyone I encountered.

Regardless of whether you are in a relationship, you must never lose sight of yourself as an individual or stop doing the things you enjoy, that make you who you are. Likewise you must respect your partner (the same goes for friends and family) to allow them to continue to be themselves without constricting their lifestyles. Except of course if they are involved in anything illegal or leading to acts of infidelity, but this may also be a reflection of their dissatisfaction with your expectations. To try and change or control another person or project past relationship hurts onto them does not work, it only leads to more hurt. This is the key to mastering the art of relationship, and maintaining a healthy balanced life. Enter each new relationship with a positive attitude of appreciation and keep your communication open and honest, so as to not be haunted by past ghosts - that probably don't have anything to do with the new person anyway! We can only learn and become stronger from our past mistakes, and move forward in perfect peace towards a positive future. After all, you deserve the BEST, forget about the rest.

count down babylon

what would you do if you found out that you only had 1 month left to live? After spending time with a friend who recently had someone close to him pass away, I have been absorbed in the simple task of embracing every minute of my own life. Does anyone know how long he or she has left on the earth? Granted, the cycle of life warrants that each day babies are born and each day people die, or are killed, in the natural processes thereof. The question remains whether or not we want to focus is on the past (which we cant change or dwell in), the needless cares of the material world (like buying cars, fashion, and real estate), situations that are out of our hands (like the distorted political views of Democrats), or to EMBRACE EVERY MINUTE OF THE PRESENT, with all of its amazing opportunities and beautiful experiences to be had?

Here in San Diego, I have been spending a lot of time in a small beach town called Ocean Beach and hanging out on its rocky cliffs. It is so much more chill and low-key than the larger more trendy tourist beaches of this beautiful region, and has such a small-town feel. I have also been listening to a lot of Reggae music and going to Reggae events (and dancing in general) with my good friend Irene, herself immersed in natural healing and cultural appreciation. Not only do nature and music give you amazing energy, the ability to center yourself and re-focus your life attention are unavoidable bi-products of such environments. In addition, time spent with friends as well as in centering fitness activities (where it is just you and the resistance of your body) such as yoga, capoeira, running, and swimming are amazing source of self-sustaining energy.

Besides its positive and ultimately calming vibrations, most Reggae music contains some pretty powerful lyrics which I dont think a lot of people REALLY think about. Many of the songs are about Jah (Rastafarian name for God), One Love, Peace and Positivity, Creation, and BABYLON. Granted many of these Rastafarians choose to focus on the prominent use of marijuana often associated with this genre of music (I myself do not use drugs though I definitely understand their culture), but by skipping the plant and boiling it down to the ROOTS you will see the inherent message behind the music. Babylon is in Mesopotamia, present day IRAQ. While I have never been to Iraq, I was in Jordan recently, Iraq's Hashemite neighbor. Not only did I study the Middle East (IN the Middle East), my Christian background gives me a more complete understanding of the significance of Babylon, which continues to be the center of the world.

In fact, everything else that is going on in the world (such as entertainment stars in rehab and interpersonal dramas among the citizens of America) is not nearly as important as these days in Iraq, and its strategical location in the End Times Prophecies. Throughout the Old Testament (or Torah for my Jewish friends) especially in the books of Ezekiel and Daniel, you will see Babylon mentioned several times. Most people do not understand what the War in Iraq is all about, but I will give you a hint that it has something to do with Biblical Prophecy (its a religious war, no?) and thus our days are numbered here on the earth. When the US troops pull out (ode to the Democrats), Prince Hassan Bin Talal of Jordan (Iraq's Hashemite neighbor) will rise up and rule the region. Count down Babylon, the end is near... ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MINUTE OF YOUR LIFE, living in the NOW, embracing each new day with positivity, and spreading light and love to those around you?

uninhibited

Earlier this week I spent 48 hours straight at the beach with my best friend and her three children, ages 8 months, 5 and 8 years. Despite their frequent tantrums and outbursts into tears for no significant reason, their youthful vigor and purity created a pretty refreshing influence. Because children have not yet been tainted by the ills of society, their outlook on life is carefree and uninhibited. As we become older, our behaviors and attitudes are influenced by our surroundings, namely our classmates, friends, coworkers, and overall societal paradigm. In American culture, there are so many distractions and unhealthy influences which can easily inject corruption into the minds of youths during their ascent to adulthood.

While the baby was still grasping for his mother and filled with wide-eyed wonder every time I came near, and the oldest daughter was pretty confident in her own right, the middle daughter was the one who provided me with the most sincere fascination. During our daily walks along the boardwalk from the hotel to the beach, or the hotel to various shops and restaurants, this beautiful child made a habit of stopping every 10-20 yards along the way to investigate something. Although this delayed our arrival or added to the already reasonable trek distance, her enthusiasm for discovery became less of a nuisance and more joyful with its increased frequency. She would stop to look at plants, analyze people, or touch something unknown.

I began to join her on her quest for uninhibited adventure. One of her favorite people was a young man on a trick bike, doing spins and balance poses at the end of a cul-de-sac. We stood in amazement as we watched him "perform" for us for several minutes. She also took kindly to the bums with guitars, and each time she saw someone with a trick bike or a guitar she assumed they were the same as the previous person who had been doing the same, the day before or in a different spot. The most fun was when I decided to go into the ocean with the girls, after they were covered in sand from building various tunnels and castles. Pacific Beach seems to have the most seaweed of any beach I've visited in the world, so I decided to exhibit creativity in our adventure. After entering the salty sea, I found some seaweed which looked like a fashion belt. I wrapped it around my waistline several times, with an accent piece around my neck and ran around telling everyone on the beach that I was a mermaid. After I noticeably frightened some onlookers, I concluded that I was actually a monster rather than a mermaid! Titles aside, my uninhibited enjoyment of nature led to spontaneous costume-making and an exciting time with children and good pure fun. Since that day, I have incorporated some level of this inhibition into my regular interactions with friends and strangers alike, and has made for a pretty enjoyable outlook on life.

international players

over the past week in San Diego, I've gone out dancing at a few Brazilian clubs with friends, like I used to many years ago. While I love the music and the culture overall, I was quickly reminded about why I stopped going out to clubs. The guys are SO forward and are only after one thing, which I am not at liberty to give, nor do I desire to operate this way. The word we use for such men who try to get busy with various women is a "player" regardless of country of origin. Even though these clubs are in San Diego, the international flavor displayed creates a feeling of being in the various countries, a generally favorable vibe.

While I don't prefer the player scene, my interest in International Players on the political scale is a bit more dominant. Are we witnessing the second Cold War, leading to World War 3? Where did sleeping dog Russia come from all of the sudden, in recent weeks? Withdrawing from EU arms treaties, defying the American presence in nuclear defense in the region, and Putin puttin up a big stink, like the big dogs do. North Korea shutting down their nuclear reactor, only in response to the possibility of the US lifting sanctions against the supposed terrorist sponsoring state? Japan's devastating quake disabling their nuclear plant, sitting upon 4 tectonic plates - will their neighbors come to their aid? Has the US pissed off China with its new Democratic attitude, Nancy Pelosi failing to renew our international trade agreement at the end of last month. This will hurt the US more than it will help our internal economy, as the International Players are playing for power in the world.

Will the countries that sponsor terrorism reach amicable agreements with the US and EU, or will Tony and George continue to fight for the freedoms we in the west deserve? Will the recognition of a Palestinian state and the release of prisoners - criminals - out on the loose bring a solid and lasting peace that the region has always hoped for? Will the defiance of Hamas against the West and its joining forces with Al-Qaeda make for a smoother segue to Camp David II? Is Osama Bin Laden REALLY hiding along the Afghanistan/Pakistan border as the media suspects, because if he was wouldn't that make his capture eminent? Will the upcoming war involve nuclear strategies by the International Players, or Arab mind games and technological warfare upon the security of the West? Where will you stand when the International Players bring destruction upon our world?

oceana pacifica

in a recent blog, I mentioned 4 different seas i had visited within a one-week period. Let's add number 5, my very own Pacific Ocean. From a very young age, I visited the Pacific Ocean every year on vacations to San Diego with my family. When I became an adult (ok, age 17) I moved to San Diego because of my strong connection to the sea, and lived there for 13 years total. While there are so many beautiful bodies of water around the world, the Pacific Ocean has always been such an important powerful force in my life. Its magical magnetic energy brings healing, a special source of nature from God, His power transcending beyond our daily concerns and past hurts. The Pacific Ocean and the city of San Diego (known as America's Finest City) also provide for me a sense of peace, stability, and years of wonderful memories.

Since I've been back in San Diego for the past few days, I've realized in so many ways that there's no place like home. I thank God for bringing me back here safely, away from the Arab terror so rampant throughout Israel. I had the opportunity of a lifetime, I embraced it, I put my life on the line, and the very God of Israel who loved me so much to bring me to his Holy Land carried me home on his wings of safety. Being home and spending time with the people who have been with me over my lifetime has become the best part of my journey. Last night my friend Mark suggested I write a book about all my travels, and all the wonderful places and scenarios I have experienced. He felt that not only do I have the credentials to do so, that so many people who cannot travel internationally themselves would love to read about such exciting stories. My encouraging friends are such a blessing to me, and are a constant reflection of my own integrity, love, beauty, and worldly success.

This morning I swam in the Pacific Ocean, full of seaweed (so annoying but don't complain, that could be someone's meal), right off the Sunset Cliffs, so beautiful and amazing. The water was cold... though warm for San Diego, freezing compared to the Aegean and Mediterranean Seas! I was instantly reminded of the unique experience felt only in the Pacific, as much as I've enjoyed swimming in the beautiful seas of the world, especially partial to the Red Sea (as per previous blogs). Why would you stay in one part of the world your whole life if you could travel around the world and swim in its seas? Sometimes I feel sorry for those people in Israel who think that is the only country (er, its not even really a "country" per se) and they never leave because of some inherent cultural dramas. We live in a beautiful world and we need to embrace it as such, in its entirety. Skip the crime, skip the terror, skip the political debates, skip the conflicts, and skip a stone on the sea. Live your life and LOVE your life, and the important people who are special to you!

the russian pool

at my gym in Israel, there are 2 pools, an indoor pool and an outdoor pool. The outdoor pool is a "see and be seen" pool, weather permitting. The water is full of sunscreen, Israeli college students in bikinis, children, and thus most likely urine. I liked that pool when they first opened it at the start of summer, but the aforementioned factors got to be a little much. The other pool is a year-round indoor heated pool, jam-packed with Russians. A term from freshman Economics comes to mind, "trade-offs". Despite my general tendencies for the outdoors, the indoor pool was often a more viable option. But therein lied the inherent issue of Dirty Old Russian Men with weight problems and staring problems. Though I tried to dress as conservatively as possible when entering the Russian Pool, the fascination with my ass knows no international boundaries. What other business would a Russian have with an American? I had to just concentrate on my swimming while looking straight ahead, feeling the many pairs of eyes upon me, with their wandering imaginations. Not the most comforting feeling, but temporary, and good discipline in building my mind over matter, grin and bear it.

Now imagine now a brand-new, beautiful, clean, series of pools, complete with jacuzzi and diving boards, a deluxe Aquaplex. Imagine further that this heavenly paradise exists in an exclusive membership-only environment, in an ideal outdoor setting with the most beautiful weather on the planet year-round. If this seems too good to be true, let your imagination wander even further, to a place where English is the only accepted language of fluency, and everyone in the vicinity has beautiful, perfect bodies. This is a real place, the SDSU Aquaplex in Sunny San Diego, an earthly reward for my having endured the Russian Pool from hell during the last 8 months.

As for Russia's relationship to the West, the contrast between communism and freedom has proven beastly over the years. The Beast from the East, threshing and threatening; the Best from the West, progressive and proud. Recent dilemmas regarding missile placement along the Russian borders has caused speculation about Russian involvement in World War III, and their loyalty to the Quartet. I often wonder about the thousands of Russian immigrant citizens in Israel, whether they will be part of the solution or the problem. The interrelated scenarios between Russian women and Bedouin men in the town of Beer Sheva are common and known. So there we have the Russian-Arab love affair which we may project onto the global political sphere. I hope the illustrations in this blog entry have provided you with an outlet for your cultural imagination, and you may consider these thoughts as relevant in the future.

greek speak

have you heard the phrase "it's greek to me"? after spending 6 days in Greece, I was actually starting to get used to the language. I managed to learn a few words like "paragalo" (please) "efkarishto" (thank you), and "poligalo" (good). I even learned how to say "dhen ksero ellinika" (I dont speak Greek), so I could respond to people who came up to me speaking in Greek, like I did when I was in Germany (ich sprecha kein deutsch)! Fortunately, we stayed in many tourist areas during high travel season, so we were able to speak our native tongue with the locals. In this popular European vacation destination, English was the second language.

For me, one of the most interesting things about traveling (whether domestically or internationally) is observing the variance in languages or dialects. I had become so used to hearing Hebrew and Arabic everywhere I went, and even being able to understand most of what was being said after 8 months of living in Israel. Russian was also quite common in Beer Sheva where i studied as there were many Russian immigrants there. I found Greek to be most similar to Russian, in both its characterset and spoken sounds. While I felt the trip to Greece interrupted my Hebrew and Arabic flow, a few days in Europe always helps me clear my head and allows for a smoother transition to the impact of entering a completely different part of the world.

On the plane from Athens to Philadelphia (I got on after the third day of standby), the American flag logo of US Airways greeted me everywhere I looked, on the napkins, the screen in front of me, and on the soap dispensers in the onboard restrooms. After 5 months abroad I was finally going home, and this emblem of freedom and familiarity comforted me to the point of bringing tears to my eyes. The last time I returned home from abroad (after only 3 1/2 months) I felt a special connection to my land, I feeling I had never felt before, and I have carried it with me to this day. This time upon arriving in the US I did not feel the same riveting force of nostalgia, but was overwhelmed with the sense of familiarity which America brought to my immediate observation. The first thing I noticed - and soaked in completely - was being able to listen to people speaking fluent English. Granted many of the people around the world speak SOME brand of English (generally jacked-up), but this was MY English, AMERICAN English, the same dialects, nuances, and culturally-embedded phraseology. I embraced these moments in the Philadelphia airport of merely sitting and listening to people speak - in English, American English. I also reactivated my American cell phone and called as many people as I could get a hold of. This was the most amazing part of returning home, to the most wonderful country in the world, the United States of America.

Since I left the US last October, a life-changing series of events have occurred to create in me not only a sense of patriotism, but a sense of urgency to understand the truths about global affairs. I will admit that I really didn't know anything about the Middle East (besides the music) and I thought that since it didnt affect me DIRECTLY that I should not care. I sought to discover what was really going on, and how the US IS IN FACT AFFECTED more than we realize. Last night a friend wanted to hear my story about the terrorists that I met (and was terrorized by) while in Israel. Before I could even begin my story, she started rambling about the US troops in Iraq, and how the US were occupiers, murdering civilians, etc. I could not believe my ears and immediately began defending the US strategical position and that they weren't even the only troops over there, but that those were the lies she was being fed through the American society. I also told her that I would not continue to have such a conversation with her until she went to the Middle East, found out the truth for herself, and then came back and I would talk to her. She didn't seem to get it. It was as if I was speaking Greek to her. I wasn't even able to tell my terrorist story without an element of tension because I had been sidetracked by this frustration. While I'm happily around native American English speakers again, I need to be a little more selective about with whom I have conversations. Otherwise I will need to excuse myself and say "slikha, ani lo medaberit anglit" (Hebrew for "sorry, I don't speak English"). Learn the facts, or everything will sound like Greek Speak.

world hold on

flying standby internationally and being bumped off 2 flights can be fun - especially when you're stuck in Greece! I had the option to fly to any other EU destination for 200 euro and try my luck getting back to the US from there, but why would anyone do that if they could relax on the beautiful beaches of the Aegean Sea for an extra day? I decided to return to the quaint yet modern inn hotel my mother and I stayed in the night before, in the Greek coastal city of Artemis. In Greece for 5 days with no phone and limited internet, its been amazingly relaxing - I could get used to this! The best part besides being coastal is that I'm in Europe, it feels so good to be back here and using Euros again, and surprisingly seems very European minus the non-western character set, and despite the pockets of unique local culture. World Hold On - I'm on my way!

Yesterday my mom and I rode the bus down to the shore, and spent time on a small beach, reminiscent of the local beaches throughout Brazil. We ate Greek salads and fresh fish with oil and lemon as we watched the sunset and basked in the breeze along the beautiful coast. Today I returned to the sea, but rode a bus through the town and to a different beach, much larger and much more populated. Nearly every sandy stretch was lined with palapa-style umbrellas, each area a private bar or restaurant. As I walked towards the end of the crowded strand deciding which one to plant myself at, I heard one of my favorite songs, World Hold On by Bob Sinclair. They were playing house music, and the people there had a good vibe, many around my age (late 20's early 30's, although I'm horrible at telling people's ages). I spent a few hours there, enjoying the Aegean Sea and its environment, swimming, sunning, reading, talking to a few people, and listening to European house music, which I absolutely love!

Even though I have been traveling with my mom for about the last 10 days and playing tourist, art historian, and Biblical scholar, I have spent a lot of personal time reading and reflecting. From the lyrics of the song World Hold On, "Open up your heart, what do you feel? Look inside you'll find a deeper love, the kind that only comes from high above. If you ever meet your inner child don't cry, tell them everything is gonna be alright. World hold on, instead of messing with the future, open up inside. Everybody in the world, love, peace for everyone" This song is about soul-searching, and being grounded in yourself, in your own personal truth - to the extent that the ridiculousness of this world should hold less weight than the deeper love which can be found within yourself and from God. This theme is echoed in the New Testament, as well as in a book I am reading right now called "The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I've read it before, but its truths merit repetition, so essential for any person regardless of their relationship status. It's about loving yourself and finding peace within, regardless of how people treat you, abuse you, project their problems onto you, and generate negativity around you.

In addition to my own personal inner quest, I have tried to check the international news online every chance I have had while traveling. World Hold On, things are changing FAST in the global sphere and we have even more excitement on the horizon. Keep your eye on international trade, especially the USA's relationship with China. And don't be surprised if China cuts the US off soon because of its inconsistent political stance on global affairs - as per Nancy Pelosi who thinks she runs the country. She refused to sign an agreement which expired last night (June 30 2007) that would allow the US to continue its international trade and commerce with other countries. She thought that by not signing/renewing the agreement, people in America would somehow have better lives. Whether you are in America, Greece, or China, YOUR world and your life will be what you make it. Be aware of the world around you and the ignorant people's influence, but take care of yourself and your inner child no matter what.